set your alarms

I was forcefully extracted from my mother on this date, several years ago in Kentucky, at 3:09 PM EST. You are free to celebrate any way you like.

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23 Comments

  1. kez
    Posted February 11, 2006 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    i will celebrate your “exiting the birth canal” by placing a high bid on a fresh new book on ebay… for myself.

  2. kez
    Posted February 11, 2006 at 6:28 pm | Permalink

    mark, there seems to have been a delay in the transporting of one of your birthday gifts:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4703328.stm

  3. lynne
    Posted February 11, 2006 at 10:58 pm | Permalink

    Happy…uh…forced extraction day!

  4. Stella Magdalen
    Posted February 12, 2006 at 12:12 am | Permalink

    yeah, many happy returns of the day.

  5. sandy
    Posted February 12, 2006 at 10:37 am | Permalink

    Well damn, we share this day then. Along with Lincoln & Chas. Darwin. The high point of my day so far has been scrubbing some scary stuff off the bottom of the bathtub mat, woo hoo!

  6. mark
    Posted February 12, 2006 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

    You must have thought that I posted this today, Sandy… which would have been cool. I would have liked to have shared my birthday with Darwin and Lincoln instead of Burt Reynolds. Unfortunately, however, my mom agreed when her doctor said that he wanted to induce labor on the 11th. The rest is history… And being born on February 11 isn’t all that bad. I don’t just share the day with Burt Reynolds, but also Thomas Edison… Not too shabby.

  7. mark
    Posted February 12, 2006 at 4:12 pm | Permalink

    And, Kez, I’m happy that you decided to send the link this time. The last note that you sent kind of freaked me out. I know I’m paranoid, but I assumed the worst when you said that you were going to “hunt me down and give me head” for my birthday.

    And, I’ve actually been wanting to get a severed human head to ward off evil spirits for a while now. My grandmother’s house in Kentucky used to be surrounded by coconuts painted with human faces – her way of accomplishing the same thing.

  8. mark
    Posted February 12, 2006 at 4:13 pm | Permalink

    And thanks to everyone who wrote with “happy birthday” wishes. They were appreciated.

  9. chris
    Posted February 12, 2006 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Sucks doesn’t it. Have you reached the age where you’ve gone over the curvature of the earth and you are now looking at the steep precipice that is the end of the horizon?

    And what exactly do you mean by “forced extraction”?

  10. mark
    Posted February 12, 2006 at 9:42 pm | Permalink

    I was pulled out of my mother, who was unconscious at the time, with forceps.

  11. UncleWendy
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 3:13 am | Permalink

    May I suggest hosting your birthday party at the watertower of Ypsilanti (a.k.a. “the brick dick”), winner of the world’s most phallic building contest?

    Plumbing has never been so sexy!

    http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/phallic/winner.php

  12. Theodore Glass
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 9:05 am | Permalink

    I like hte idea of a party where everyone is dragged in through a small window (by the head) with forceps.

  13. schutzman
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    mark, I’ll go see if the Wooden Nickel will host a charity benefit to raise funds to pay for your forced re-insertion.

    You’ve clearly had to deal with this dry, cold, external world quite long enough.

  14. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    Women lifting their shirts so that Mark can be reinserted back into his mother. I don’t think any thought has ever made me happier. Someone should buy the film rights.

  15. Dirtgrain
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 5:26 pm | Permalink

    Sorry I missed it. Happy Birthday.

  16. It's Skinner Again
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

    Happy birthday! How did you celebrate?

  17. mark
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 6:51 pm | Permalink

    One hundred years from now, not celebrating my birth would get you hanged by the neck until dead. Good for you it’s not the future, Dirtgrain. You will live to see another day.

  18. mark
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    I celebrated by eating Ethiaopian food with Linette and then having drinks with a few friends. We were fortunate to have my parents in town to watch the baby… How did you celebrate the holiday, Mr. Skinner? Did you raise your shirt, as per the suggestion of Mr. Schutzman?

  19. It's Skinner Again
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 8:52 pm | Permalink

    My girlfriend and I had some wine and cheese, played with the cat, read some old Popeye comics. I don’t think your name came up.

  20. kez
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 10:59 pm | Permalink

    for your next anxiety attack stressed bloody eyeball:

    http://cgi.ebay.com/NEU-VITA-OCULIZER-QUACK-EYEBALL-MASSAGER_W0QQitemZ7389404377QQcategoryZ1210QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

  21. mark
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 11:00 pm | Permalink

    That’s good. If my name had come up while you were looking at comics, there would have been riots.

  22. mark
    Posted February 13, 2006 at 11:03 pm | Permalink

    And that’s fucking sick, Kez.

  23. dorothy
    Posted February 17, 2006 at 2:44 pm | Permalink

    happy birthday! sorry i missed it—was in the process of moving. hope you had a good one.

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