are you ready for some zombies?

Given my fear of large crowds and of the private security forces they seem to attract, I doubt I’ll be going, but I wanted to help spread the word that zombies will be attacking Superbowl festivities in downtown Detroit this Friday evening… I think it’s a great idea, and I’ve been exchanging notes with the guy organizing it for a while, but I’m just too much of a chicken when it comes to exploring new places (especially those full of wealthy, drunken football fans) in makeup and dripping blood.

At least when our zombie crew attacked Ann Arbor, I knew the terrain. I had our escape routes planned out, and had a series of safe-houses lined up. I wouldn’t have a chance in Hell if some overeager Detroit rent-a-cop with a taser decided to take me down… I know it’s probably irrational, but, like most of you probably know by now, I have OCD and that’s what I do. I worry about irrational things… With all that said, I really do hope that some of you decide to head out and join our zombie friends as they take in Winterfest. (If you do go, send me pictures.)

If any event called for zombies, it’s the Superbowl. From the manic acquisition of “limited edition collectibles” to the over-the-top, flag-waving pageantry, there’s no single event in America that better predicts the final destination of our glassy-eyed “Consumerism Gone Wild” lifestyle. While the thousands of reporters visiting Detroit next week probably won’t be talking about the fact that most tickets cost more than the average Detroiter makes in a month, maybe they’ll write something about the army of the walking dead that materialized from nowhere. And maybe, just maybe, some young television producer will take the time to try to figure it all out. (They might even begin poking around and discover that, behind all the beautiful advertising, the buildings are falling apart.)

One more thing, for those of you who do go out, please keep in mind that a lot of very powerful people feel as though this is Detroit’s big chance to recreate it’s perception in the national consciousness, and they may not take disruptions lightly, regardless of how well-intentioned and harmless they might be. So, my advice would be to travel with a lot of photographers, and stay in a tight pack.

Best of luck, my cold, grey friends.

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3 Comments

  1. Bob
    Posted January 29, 2006 at 9:57 pm | Permalink

    I’m no fan but the Super Bowl is reportedly bringing in $300 million to Detroit’s suffering economy. This city, indeed this state, is desperate for Detroit to get healthy. The long suffering folks and business owners who aren’t named Ford or Illitch need the trouble-free publicity that will go along with a successful event of this magnitude. Personally,I thought the zombie thing in Ann Arbor was a really smug and pretentious display…more bad performance art. Staging this nonsense downtown at the game would be so fucking lame. Yikes.

  2. mark
    Posted January 29, 2006 at 10:06 pm | Permalink

    You’re trying to trick me into going, right?

    Well, it’s almost working.

  3. Theodore Glass
    Posted January 30, 2006 at 8:27 am | Permalink

    I wish someone had told me that the Zombie Claus thing was going to be smug and pretentious. Now I’m kicking myself for missing it.

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