local arts patrons linette lao and mark maynard generously donate ipod to holiday “discover ypsilanti” promotion

I was thinking of a good way to spin the fact that Linette lost our iPod in the park the other day, and so far the best I’ve been able to come up with is that we donated it as part of a new Ypsilanti revitalization program… I was thinking that we could make up fliers and post them around Washtenaw County saying “Discover the Hidden Treasures of Ypsilanti… come to downtown Ypsilanti — look for the hidden iPod — and discover a city you never knew existed”… Maybe, I’m thinking, if we did that, we could get one or two people to drive out from Ann Arbor who otherwise wouldn’t, and, more importantly, maybe Linette and I could write the iPod off on our taxes.

Truth is, she lost it while walking the dog in Riverside Park two nights ago. If you want, you can go and look for it. We’ve made about five trips down there so far, and we couldn’t find it, but maybe you’ll have better luck… If you do find it, please don’t make fun of our music, and the podcasts that we’ve subscribed to though. There’s no sense adding insult to injury, is there? (I might as well confess it now. I did, not too long ago, purchase a Christina Aguilera song from the iTunes store. I never thought I’d have to own up to it, but there it is… Hate me if you want to. I think it’s a good song.)

Linette feels bad about losing the iPod. She even borrowed a small metal rake from her dad so that she could comb through the snow… Said rake, I think it’s worth mentioning, was lost a half-hour into her search… Fortunately, I was able to find it later that evening. No such luck with the iPod though.

So, our loss is your potential gain.

If you do find it, I’d just like to ask one thing — could you let me know where, exactly, it was? I want to know the exact coordinates so that I can know how close or far-away I was in my searches. (I took all of Linette’s comments into consideration and tried to deduce from there where she could have been at the time of the loss, and I’d like to know if I was even remotely close in my detective work. It was complicated, but I had this equation that took into account areas of possible dog interest, the lighting of the park at dusk, the contour of the land, and the possibility that she might be a bit off on her landmarks. (I found the rake about 20 yards from where she told me that she dropped it.) Anyway, I had this scenario all worked out in my mind that took into account everything she told me about the night that the iPod was lost, and I’d like to know if I was even close… Wasn’t there an episode of the Twilight Zone in which a man, in the middle of the desert, died of thirst, and then, in the closing credits, the camera panned up to show that he was just a few feet away from a small lagoon, or some such thing? Well, I suspect that I was standing right next to the iPod during the last 24 hours and I’d like to confirm that.)

Oh, as long as we’re on the subject of great detectives, if you’re in the greater Ann Arbor area, you might want to pick up a copy of the Ann Arbor Paper. This month’s issue has my interview with Peter “Columbo” Falk.

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9 Comments

  1. Ken
    Posted December 3, 2005 at 11:18 pm | Permalink

    Fucking Apple. They had to go with the white ipod. Maybe you should write them and tell them how well it camouflages with snow. I have one of the old green ones. I guess I am screwed in the springtime.

    Incidentally, I’ll bet that rake was pure white proving the veracity of my theory.

  2. mark
    Posted December 3, 2005 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

    Yup. White iPod Nanos and snow don’t mix so well. As for the rake, it was silver – but, as you’ll recall, unlike the iPod, it was found.

  3. msiono
    Posted December 4, 2005 at 12:07 pm | Permalink

    Well, a few years ago I lost a pair of exceptionally expensive sunglasses on walk back to your home from the park and Depot Town. They cost around the same price as the iPod/nano did. Although I knew and was able to retrace my exact steps I never found the lost glasses. It was so eerie because it was sunny, dry, and clear conditons with exacting recall, but no success. Perhaps there is an Ypsi vortes that sucks up anything over a certain value. Taking the “silver” rake and then rejecting it after proper analysis…

    Suggestion to iPod – an installed locater chip.

  4. mark
    Posted December 4, 2005 at 1:49 pm | Permalink

    I like that theory. I’ll have to take something down there of value today and test it out. Maybe I’ll close out my checking account and take down a little bundle of small bills in a paper bag. I’ll lay it on the ground, turn by back for a moment, and see if it’s still there when I turn back….

    (And now I’m going back to my notebooks (I keep files on everyone) to see who I might know that would be wearing expensive sunglasses.)

  5. mark
    Posted December 4, 2005 at 1:49 pm | Permalink

    I think it would make more sense to just have them (iPods) implanted beneath the skin.

  6. mark
    Posted December 5, 2005 at 8:27 pm | Permalink

    FYI to the individual or individuals who are now enjoying my iPod — I just got notice from Apple that the period of free support is about to end.

  7. Shanster
    Posted April 12, 2006 at 12:30 pm | Permalink

    What happened? Did you ever find it? Did you post about it on your “shadow blog” that only the inner circle knows about? Hat der Otto das Ding zufaelligerweise gefunden?

  8. mark
    Posted April 12, 2006 at 10:20 pm | Permalink

    I spent hundreds of hours looking, but found nothing…. I haven’t told Linette this yet, but I suspect that she never lost it. My guess is that she sold it on the street for candy money, and just told me that it had been lost.

  9. mark
    Posted April 12, 2006 at 10:23 pm | Permalink

    According to Google, Shanster, you just asked me, “If the petrol found the thing coincidentally?”

    My response to you is, “Was das Bumsen.”

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