the zombie-clause setup

Kurt, the fellow in Hawaii who so heroically snatched up the Zombie-Claus gauntlet that I had thrown down a few weeks ago, has suggested that the following scenario guide our activities on the 16th, and I thought I’d bounce it off of you for your feedback… This is the text that would run on the official Zombie-Claus site once it’s launched:

It has come to our attention that the North Pole and the International Mall-Santa Training Grounds (IMSTG) have been attacked by the undead. The arrival of the undead into these areas of normal holiday cheer has caused a mass revolt of Santas around the world.

“As Santas become the undead their perspectives about Christmas have changed. They are now protesting the over commercialization of the Christmas holiday and it’s encroachment into the traditional Zombie holiday of Halloween”
-Stated the IMSTG president in exile, Claude H. Smoot.

To date, Zombie-Claus have been spotted in the Canadian provinces and are making their way south and should hit the bordering states sometime in the next few weeks. The people of Southeastern Michigan should be particularly concerned. There have been unconfirmed reports that an organized gathering of Zombies is scheduled for sometime in December.

As the Zombie-Claus attack, their population is increasing greatly. Besides the Zombie-Claus there have been confirmed sightings of Zombie-elves and Zombies that appear as if they have been caught in the middle of a Christmas shopping spree. Nobody is safe from these attacks and all trips to shopping districts in December should be taken with caution.

Please help to get the word out,
Lives need to be saved.

I know the logic might be a bit fuzzy in places, but I think it’s delightfully so, in a B-movie kind of way, and I very much liked the addition of the “encroachment on Halloween” bit. If you have additional thoughts, please leave a comment. And, if you think that you might want to participate on the evening of Friday, December 16, send me an email and I will make sure that you are added to the distribution list.

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5 Comments

  1. Posted November 30, 2005 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    Sounds like a great idea. I look forward to reading all about it.

  2. Dave
    Posted December 1, 2005 at 11:08 pm | Permalink

    I dunno. Shouldn’t there also be a mysterious crashed Canadian satellite or aliens or something involved?

    I don’t think I can lay my hands on a Santa suit, but maybe I could be a victim or something. Could you add me to the email list? (I assume you can see my email from my spiffy new profile you forced me to create, you tyrant.)

  3. Dave
    Posted December 1, 2005 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

    P.S. If no one minds, maybe I’ll noodle around with it tomorrow (at work, of course).

  4. mark
    Posted December 1, 2005 at 11:29 pm | Permalink

    Noodle away, my now-registered friend.

  5. mark
    Posted December 4, 2005 at 4:13 pm | Permalink

    I like the idea of starting the scenario with the crash of a satellite. Maybe it could be a satellite that just sent out ad-filled programming to kids. (That would tie it into the Christmas/consumerism thing.) The satellite crashes into the International Mall-Santa Training Grounds (in Canada) and a number of mall Santas become infected. They begin making their way southward, perhaps toward the New York Macy

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