Are you a young, African-American male within driving distance of Ypsilanti? If so, drop me a line. I might have some work for you.
Actually, I should mention right up front that it doesn’t involve either being alone with me, or the removal of any clothes… Video equipment, however, may be involved.
So, here’s the deal.
Last year, while making my way around Ypsilanti’s annual Heritage Festival, I happened to notice a large, black Humvee in the park… It was hard not to notice, as it was blasting rap music and surrounded by military personnel… As I made my way toward the vibrating, black military vehicle, which I seem to recall had giant speakers mounted in the back, I noticed a group of young African American teenagers approaching from the other direction.
The men in uniform, not surprisingly, turned their attention toward them (and away from the overweight, middle-aged white guy) and began their rap about the military (I believe it was the Army) and why it was a great place for a young man to spend a few years. The two things I distinctly remember are 1) that the recruiters said if they signed up they’d get to drive around in cool vehicles like this tricked-out Humvee, and 2) that lots of famous rappers had served in the military. I can’t remember the names of the rappers, but they rattled off a list and then said something like, “All of those guys got their start in the Army.” At some point, I think it became apparent that I was eavesdropping and the recruiters ushered the candidates around to the other side of the Hummer.
I personally don’t have a problem with the military, and, in fact, I think it can be really good for some people. So, I’m not suggesting that they not be allowed to recruit at community events like these. What I found offensive, however, was the fact that their pitch was so carefully crafted for an “urban” demographic. From, “I bet you’ve never been in a ride this expensive before,” to “he learned to rap in the military,” the pitch was honed to perfection. There was no talk, at least that I could hear, of the danger involved, or even the service that one might feel compelled to offer their country. There was no talk of the skills that would be learned, or the potential to have college tuition paid for. They weren’t there to talk about the realities of life in the military, or the current challenges we face in the Middle East. They were there fishing… luring in young kids with lots of bass and a big, shiny car.
So, this year (assuming they’re there again) I was thinking that maybe I’d get someone to go down with a mic, so we could all hear what’s actually being said… Unfortunately, I’m a bit out of touch with the high school demographic… and I don’t feel like going the route of Gene Wilder in “The Silver Streak” and trying to pass for young and black.
Maybe I’ll put up an ad on the new Craig’s List: Ann Arbor.
A few days ago, while hiking around Ann Arbor, I noticed that a local non-profit had bolted several small signs, concerning domestic abuse, to existing signposts. Given the fact that these posts are all over town, holding up everything from bus schedules to stop signs, and that each has several unused holes into which other things can be bolted, I can’t believe that someone hadn’t had the idea before. Even without the sanction of the city (which I’m sure this non-profit has), it seems to me like someone would have gotten it in their head prior to now to make their own official-looking signs and bolt them around town… So, I’m sitting here tonight wondering if it might be fun to make some signs and then send them around the U.S. to be put up in similarly conspicuous places. The puzzle, of course, would be to design something that would, at the same time, cause people to think, while not raising the suspicions of city employees. (How about signage for a fictitious creationism museum, using those pterodactyl images we’ve been working on? Or, how about a quote of some sort on the role of mankind in the universe? Maybe something from Kurt Vonnegut. Or, maybe an image of a yellow ribbon over someone’s mouth that says, “Patriots don’t ask questions.”) So, do you have any ideas?
