when threads collide

In the past week, I’ve posted on Scientology and the artifacts accompanying the Pioneer 10 spacecraft. I had no reason to think that those two things were related, that Scientology might somehow be linked to Carl Sagan’s effort to share the legacy of mankind with the cosmos via gold-plated records. I was apparently wrong though. The two things are connected, in a way… I just received a cryptic message from someone who claims to have intimate knowledge of Scientology and attached to this person’s message were a series of photos which I’m told show gold disks created by high-ranking members of the religion for the purposes of conveying their message (about body thetans?) into the future. An odd little coincidence, don’t you think?

So, now I’m wondering, if I were to etch an image or a sound-filled groove into gold, what would it be? What’s the message that I’d want to live on into the future? What would I want the creatures of outer space to know about me, and about the Earth as it exists today? What would I want to share with the future simian rulers of this planet?

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  1. Posted March 9, 2005 at 2:19 am | Permalink

    Joseph Smith was getting gold records from moroni back in the 19th century.

  2. Teddy Glass
    Posted March 9, 2005 at 8:43 am | Permalink

    I think aliens and our ape overlords might both find a simple, elegant ball-shaving tutorial to be quite helpful.

  3. Ken
    Posted March 9, 2005 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    In Newspeak, we call it Manscaping.

  4. Ken
    Posted March 9, 2005 at 1:58 pm | Permalink

    I would think that the complete works of MPT might need to survive the oncoming shit storm. You could make one of those trick groove in your golden record so that the needle never makes it past the first revolution. You gotta make them want it.

  5. Teddy Glass
    Posted March 10, 2005 at 9:21 am | Permalink

    I’d vote for an equal number of corporate logos and images of porn stars etched into gold. I think that would pretty much sum things up.

  6. Ken
    Posted March 10, 2005 at 9:29 am | Permalink

    How about a catalogue of UPC numbers of items carried by Walmart? It may sum up our legacy to future generations on earth. We can make sure that we include Boudreaux’s Butt Paste.

  7. mark
    Posted March 12, 2005 at 1:25 am | Permalink

    It’s hard enough for me to remember to use tooth paste every night.

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