fisher price factory farm

This morning, while sitting on the floor and playing with Clementine and her Fisher Price farm, it occurred to me that it might be interesting to make a more realistic, more modern version — a Fisher Price factory farm. Cages upon cages of freakishly large-breasted chickens stacked one on top of the other, unable to extend their wings, pecking each other to death. The occasional brightly-colored barrel of hormones and antibiotics. We could even have a little machine that could be scooted around, sucking up loose chickens. And we could sell add-on modules, like a waste-spewing processing plant where the little, plastic people, not being allowed to leave the slaughter line for bathroom breaks, have to wear diapers. Kids, I think, would love that.

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  1. Posted March 12, 2005 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    follow that link to see a video of everyone’s favorite Golden Girl speaking on the same exact subject.

    And yes, she’s pissed.

    Not literally, though.

  2. Posted March 12, 2005 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    The co-op sells free-range chicken breasts. Breasts from free-range chickens I should say. Expensive but the tenderest and tastiest chicken I’ve ever had. Factory-farmed chicken just tastes gross, kind of metallic and chemical-y. Add to that the cruelty and the warnings on the package about cooking thoroughly to kill God knows what plagues are on the meat and the whole factory-farmed chicken thing is a turn-off.

  3. mark
    Posted March 13, 2005 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    There are two spokespeople on that page, Brett

  4. Posted March 13, 2005 at 12:17 pm | Permalink

    Which brings up an idea, which might satisfy Kami’s apparent need to piss on Bea- Assuming you could send off john ritter, get the pam anderson standup in return, and then make it available in trade to someone out there holding onto a bea arthur standup.

    Then, all you have to do is HAVE IT LAMINATED (this is very important), and give Kami a call.

    In the meantime, let me know if you need input on the bea/pam movie. I think the age difference would make a great flatfoot/rookie cop movie, and i just watched Kurosawa’s “Stray Dog” so i’m happy to volunteer suggestions.

  5. Posted March 14, 2005 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    …is it just me, or does every thread here now purposely lead directly to bea and kami, Mark’s very own Golden Girls?

    btw, to at least try to stay on topic, i have never personally eaten chicken.
    The main result of this is that anytime someone tells me that something tastes LIKE chicken, i have no idea what they mean.

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