church sign

I guess it was just a matter of time, but you can now make your own church signs on-line. (That’s my best idea so far. If you’ve got a better one, send it in.)

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22 Comments

  1. Doug Skinner
    Posted March 3, 2005 at 11:37 pm | Permalink

    GEORGE WASHINGTON SLEPT HERE

  2. mark
    Posted March 3, 2005 at 11:57 pm | Permalink

    My next best idea was:

    DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
    SUNDAY NIGHTS AT 9:00 ON ABC

  3. Ken
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 9:53 am | Permalink

    HEY! AT LEAST
    WE ARE NOT A CULT!

  4. Doug Skinner
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN

    U.S. GOVERNMENT APPROVED

    WE’RE NUMBER ONE!

  5. Ken
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    USDA GRADE A
    WHOLESOME GOODNESS

  6. Tony Buttons
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 12:35 pm | Permalink

    Not as Much Boy Ass Play as the Catholics

  7. Tony Buttons
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

    Now with Twice the Hypocrisy!

  8. Ken
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 2:04 pm | Permalink

    COME SEE OUR NEW
    RECTORY! IT WILL MAKE
    YOU WANT TO KNEEL!

  9. JF
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 2:04 pm | Permalink

    “Attend now! Avoid the Christmas rush!”

  10. JF
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 2:04 pm | Permalink

    Only praying seven days in a row makes one weak

  11. JF
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    Christians Aren

  12. Posted March 4, 2005 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

    The two I used to link to your story are:

    “Everyone welcome! Except you. God hates you.”

    and

    “Bingo and book burning this Sunday!”

  13. chris
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

    Don’t make me come back there!

    My God, My God, what the fuck have you done?!

    I’ll tell you one thing he wouldn’t be doing that.

    I liked the praying seven days in a row, funny on many levels.

    Free wine and breas with every soul.

    My personal favorite…”I know what you did last night”

  14. kez
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 8:29 pm | Permalink

    Bring your gun to church week
    March 6 – 12
    Free blessings on trigger finger

  15. mark
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    Thou Shalt Not Kill
    Unless There’s Lot and Lots of Oil Involved

  16. JF
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 10:37 pm | Permalink

    Thou Shalt Not Kill
    Unless it is to Preserve Freedom Around the World

  17. chris
    Posted March 5, 2005 at 10:33 am | Permalink

    Tipping point:
    We will free you people or we will kill every goddamn last one of you in the process.

    Unless, JF, you were being facetious.

  18. mark
    Posted March 5, 2005 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    For the record, he was not being facetious.

  19. mark
    Posted March 5, 2005 at 12:07 pm | Permalink

    JESUS SUPPORTS THE DEATH PENALTY

  20. brett
    Posted March 6, 2005 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    I saw an actual church sign in Pittsburgh this past week that said:

    “Read the Bible-
    It will scare the HELL out of you.”

    I was pretty impressed.

  21. brett
    Posted March 6, 2005 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    as for fake signs, how about:

    “Over 100 Million Heretics Burned”

    or

    “Jesus don’t want you for a sunbeam”

  22. Posted March 22, 2006 at 4:15 pm | Permalink

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