awesome figure

When you Google “how to get an awesome figure” you get 1,670,000 results. Inexplicably, the very first one of them is… Somewhere there are some very confused fat people.

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  1. Ken
    Posted March 2, 2005 at 6:54 am | Permalink

    It looks like #2 would confuse people even more.

  2. mark
    Posted March 2, 2005 at 7:33 am | Permalink

    Maybe I should just forward all of my traffic to a pro-anorexia site until I can shed a few pounds. As someone pointed out to me the other day, I look like Orson Welles, “only later in life, and not as handsome.”

  3. Ken
    Posted March 2, 2005 at 7:34 am | Permalink

    This site is your “Citizen Kane”.

  4. chris
    Posted March 2, 2005 at 1:43 pm | Permalink

    that site is fascinating and scary. I tried sooo hard to be anorexic and I just couldn’t make the grade. That shit takes some serious willpower or mental illness that I just cannot acheive. Just another one of my life’s many failures.

    I’ve known a few anorectics (you know the peer pressure thing) and there is definately a few very bizarre side bahaviors they have in common, like hiding food.

  5. Teddy Glass
    Posted March 2, 2005 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    Wait, so you’re telling me that this Bush-hating, eye-bleeding, ball-shaving diet I’ve been on for the past year isn’t going to give me an awesome figure?

  6. Posted March 2, 2005 at 7:58 pm | Permalink

    I’m still confused just what my “Mark Maynard Needs” really are.

  7. Posted March 2, 2005 at 10:46 pm | Permalink

    the city of Pittsburgh is in morning… “Bubba” the 22 pound, 100 year-old lobster has died this evening during transit to the “Ripley’s Believe it or Not” Museum.

    …deeply saddened by our earthly consumption.

    People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent Mr. Wholey a letter asking him to work with the group to release Bubba back in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Maine.

  8. Posted March 2, 2005 at 10:52 pm | Permalink

    the death of “Bubba” the lobster.

    the city is deeply saddened.

  9. mark
    Posted March 2, 2005 at 10:55 pm | Permalink

    Are you suggesting that we eat lobster to lose weight, Kez?

  10. Posted March 2, 2005 at 11:05 pm | Permalink

    no, mark. i’m just sharing news.
    it’s snowing madly outside and i’m bored.
    there’s a bottle of nyquil on my kitchen table and i’m just to lazy to get up and get it.

  11. chris
    Posted March 2, 2005 at 11:38 pm | Permalink

    Unless a lobster is red how do you know that it is dead? My husband ate a lobster that was estimated to be around 60 years old at the urging of a crazy friend, he said it tasted like a tire and is still guilty about having eaten something older than he is (? go figure).

  12. mark
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 7:58 am | Permalink

    And we’re only #5 when you search the much more appropriate “old fat maynard” search, as someone did earlier today.

  13. Ken
    Posted March 4, 2005 at 8:34 am | Permalink

    You must be retaining some water this morning because when I clicked it you were up to #3!

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