saturday with my folks

My parents are here this weekend, visiting Linette, the baby and me, so I may not be around much. I’ll be busy toting luggage, fetching drinks and facilitating their intensive baby interaction.

While I have your attention, Linette wants me to ask you something. She wants to know if we can eat the outsides of pumpkin seeds. I said, “Of course we can,” but now I have a huge mouth full of pumpkin seed pulp that I can’t seem to choke down, and she’s worried about me. (Trying to make a point, I refuse to spit it out.)

Oh, I wanted to share this the other day, but I’ve been too busy scraping black mold out of our tub in preparation for the arrival of Clementine’s grandparents… Anyway, I came across a quote I really liked when I was reading through a conversation on Ypsi gentrification that sprung up on the Ypsi Dixit site in response to an article in the Ann Arbor News that mentioned lofts downtown here renting for as much as $1,400 a month… The quote that I really liked came from a man who, in spite of this gentrification, had just tripped over an artifact which would, I suppose, indicate otherwise. Here’s what he had to say:

“I saw a used condom near there big as a fisherman’s boot.”

I’ve got to save that line in case I ever write a book.

Fortunately, my dad and I didn’t stumble over anything nearly as note-worthy in our walk about Ypsi this morning.

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  1. Kevin Dole 2
    Posted February 19, 2005 at 6:19 pm | Permalink

    “Lofts are not low-income anymore.”

    -from the same article.

    I am low income and I live in a loft for less than half the cost they’re talking about. Mine’s swank!

  2. mark
    Posted February 19, 2005 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    YIKES! Look what I just got in the mail, from the man who posted the fishing boot sized condom message on the Ypsi Dixit site:

    still unable to leave comments on your site.

    we still have the condom from downtown if you
    want to see it. it’s black.

  3. brett
    Posted February 20, 2005 at 3:19 pm | Permalink

    this is turning into a sick version of the film ‘stand by me’, where i imagine you and your buddies embarking on a heartfelt ‘cumming-of-age’ journey to go see ‘big black’.

    would you be wil wheaton or corey feldman, though, is the real question.

  4. mark
    Posted February 20, 2005 at 3:30 pm | Permalink

    Brett, if I can get it to you, can you put it on Ebay?

    Do enormous used condoms fetch much these days?

  5. mark
    Posted February 20, 2005 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    Actually, I have a better idea…. I’m thinking that this might be a great prop for the photo I need to take of the John Ritter cutout!

  6. Posted February 20, 2005 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for visiting Ypsidixit Mark–indeed, that was a colorful conversation about the new lofts.

  7. kez
    Posted February 20, 2005 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

    I thought the John Ritter cut-out was being shipped to a girl here in Pittsburgh? What’s deal with that?

    ps… I asked the Warhol Museum if “I brought in a life-sized cut-out of John Ritter would I have to pay additional museum admission?” They just looked at me and after several seconds I nervously ran toward the elevators.

  8. brett
    Posted February 20, 2005 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    mark, although i applaud your efforts to secure said condom, i don’t think ebay is the best outlet for resale.

    first, there’s rules on used medical equipment:

    “Sellers must clean and handle all medical devices in accordance with the manufacturer’s instructions before shipping. Sellers may not list any medical device that has been altered in any way that significantly changes the product’s performance or safety specifications. All items must be delivered to buyers prior to a clearly marked expiration or “use by” date.”

    then, there’s the used clothing rule:

    “Used clothing may be listed on eBay, so long as the clothing has been thoroughly cleaned according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Listings that contain inappropriate or extraneous descriptions will be ended. Additionally, used underwear, including but not limited to, boxer shorts, panties, briefs, and athletic supporters will not be permitted.”

    as well as human remain rules:

    “Humans, the human body, or any human body parts may not be listed on eBay. Examples of prohibited items include, but are not limited to: organs, bone, blood, waste, sperm, and eggs. You may not include such items as a gift, prize, or giveaway in connection with an item listed on eBay.”

    and of course the mature audience rules:

    “What will eBay treat as “adult” or “sexually oriented” material?

    “Adult” or “sexually-oriented” material includes, but is not limited to:

    * Any visual representation of human genitals presented in such a manner as to suggest sexual activity.
    * Any visual representation of any form of sexual intercourse involving humans.
    * Any materials which require that individuals be eighteen (18) or older (depending on the jurisdiction) to view or purchase those materials.
    * Any materials clearly designed to sexually arouse the viewer/reader.
    * Any items which, because of their nature or because of the item description, appear to be designed for use in sexual/adult activity.”

    So, in conclusion, it might be difficult- or should i say hard- to actually list Big Black without it getting ‘pulled’.


  9. Alicia
    Posted February 21, 2005 at 11:25 am | Permalink

    Please tell Linette she can certainly eat the hull of pumpkin seeds. Just a little extra roughage is all.

    Same goes for peanut shells.

  10. Anonymatt
    Posted February 21, 2005 at 1:54 pm | Permalink

    Mark used to laugh about how his friend (GC) used to eat shrimp tails.

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