there are desperate housewives in ann arbor

Apparently (according to this email that I just received), there are “4 Wives looking to Cheat, (that) have been matched for (me) in (my) area.” They are:

1: Alyssa, 126 lbs, 5’6, 36c, 14 miles away, available Jan 19-23rd

2: Alexis, 120 lbs, 5’5, 36d, 12 miles away, available Jan 18-20th

3: Brianna, 124 lbs, 5’5, 34b, 14 miles away, available Jan 17-19h

4: Kelsey, 132 lbs, 5’8, 36c, 18 miles away, available Jan 19-23rd

Apparently, I have to pay a dollar before I can get a map though… The alternative, I guess, would be to drive fourteen miles in some direction and start yelling for “Alyssa” and “Brianna.” If I try that, I’ll let you know how it goes.

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5 Comments

  1. DR
    Posted January 20, 2005 at 10:35 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t know you were on that Husbands Looking to Cheat List.
    I’ll let Linette know.

  2. mark
    Posted January 21, 2005 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

    I bet that cashier at Meijers put my name on the list.

  3. mark
    Posted January 21, 2005 at 12:47 pm | Permalink

    And it surprises me that there’s not a wife in all of Ypsilanti looking to cheat. I can’t believe that there’s not a wife looking to stray for a dozen miles… Maybe their system for tracking them down isn’t that sophisticated yet. I’m sure they must be missing some right here on my street.

  4. Alicia
    Posted January 22, 2005 at 10:21 pm | Permalink

    I’m surprised your list didn’t include Barbara, the woman directly across the street from me (in Ann Arbor) whose house was raided earlier this week because it had a meth lab in the basement. Her man got escorted out by the police and she may be a little lonely these days. (though she looks a few pounds over the weights advertised and is a few inches shorter…so maybe you have to be built better to want to cheat…)

  5. mark
    Posted January 22, 2005 at 11:20 pm | Permalink

    Maybe she’ll show up on this week’s list… I’ll let you know. As for the first list that they sent, I found it curious that they didn’t list the ages of any of the women. My first thought was that maybe they were just reading the obituaries and giving me the names of the newly widowed. I’d hate to py my dollar only to get a map leading me to the doorstep of a grieving octogenarian, no matter how large-breasted.

    Sorry to hear that you have to live in the Ann Arbor ghetto, Alicia. Maybe one day you can afford Ypsi.

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