three’s company

You know how in every episode of Three’s Company there would be some kind of misunderstanding, where one of the roommates would overhear the other two talking about something completely innocent, like “snaking the drain,” and then assume that something more carnal was happening? Well, I think something similar might be happening between little George Bush, Pat Robertson and God… Somehow, somewhere, there just has to have been a terrible misunderstanding.

This morning a news item came out on the CNN site – America’s favorite spewer of hate, Pat “he puts the fun in fundamentalism” Robertson, had just mentioned in an interview that Bush, prior to the beginning of the war in Iraq, had confided in him that the U.S. forces wouldn’t sustain a single casualty. Here’s the quote, if you can believe it:

“And I warned him about this war. I had deep misgivings about this war, deep misgivings. And I was trying to say, ‘Mr. President, you had better prepare the American people for casualties.’ “

Robertson said the president then told him, “Oh, no, we’re not going to have any casualties.”

Robertson, somewhere in the article, is also quoted as saying that he knew the president was wrong, because he himself had heard from God that we were going to lose troops.

So, there you have it, the perfect sitcom setup — our president, the former fratboy coke-head, who believes he’s been put into power by God almighty, talking with a televangelist, who claims to have actual conversations with God, about sending Americans into battle wearing the invisible armor of God’s love. (aside: Should a televangelist know our nation’s war plans before Congress?) The president, bolstered by the knowledge that God has chosen him to lead this crusade, is confident that not a single life will be lost. Meanwhile, the sexy roommate (Robertson) knows better, having spoken with God, but can’t tell him. No, that would hurt his self-esteem… Then someone pratfalls across a couch, a laugh-track is cued, and a thousand Americans lose their lives. If it weren’t really happening, it would be hilarious.

Update:
The story has since been removed from the CNN site that I’d linked to. You can find substantiation here though.

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9 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted October 20, 2004 at 8:20 pm | Permalink

    can I help you with that? I got you into this mess after all.

  2. mark
    Posted October 20, 2004 at 8:25 pm | Permalink

    Apparently, I’ve just left a message for myself on my site. This is probably a sign that I should be sleeping more, right?

  3. Dave Morris
    Posted October 20, 2004 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    I think Pat talks out of his ass because his foot is permanently stuck in his mouth.

  4. mark
    Posted October 21, 2004 at 4:45 am | Permalink

    Was it devine intervention that gave us Bush as a leader even though we elected Gore? Did God tell Robertson that we’d lose lots of men in Iraq? Did he then also lead the faith-blind Bush to believe that we wouldn’t lose a single soldier? Who the fuck knows anymore? It’s all so confusing. I don’t know who to believe. I think maybe it’s time for Jerry Springer to call God out from the green room and have him straighten some of this shit out for the audience at home.

  5. dorothy
    Posted October 21, 2004 at 5:51 am | Permalink

    i have a relative who hears voices that she swears are god and his helpers. she is currently on large doses of haldol. and these two major assholes are supposedly leading the faithful? this is worse than vietnam.

  6. Posted October 21, 2004 at 5:53 am | Permalink

    I just read that story this morning, Mark. Let me think….I read the Freep (www.freep.com) and the San Francisco Chronicle (www.sfgate.com) every morning, so it was at one of those. I’m betting money on the SF paper though. Yup, SFgate

  7. Posted October 21, 2004 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    Rove et al are all claiming Patty Boy “miss heard” the President. And”… he was never in the kitchen with Krissey talking about not being gay.”

  8. Tony Buttons
    Posted October 21, 2004 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    If you ask me, it’s more like that show Knight Rider, where that crazy man drives all over the place thinking that his car is talking to him. Only there are two people fighting over the wheel and they’re both hearing different voices.

  9. mark
    Posted October 21, 2004 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

    It’ll be interesting to see how all of this plays out with the Bush team attacking Robertson. This could really be the beginning of the end of the regime of the monkey puppet… And, as much as it pains me to admit it, your analogy is better than mine, Tony. Well played, my friend… Oh, I’ve got a few good Pat Robertson links. I’ll try to get them up tonight. One concerns his lies about having seen military combat. The other concerns his questionable business practices. You’ll enjoy them both.

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