the anti-christ needs your help

Apparently, some Christian fundamentalists out there think that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. Maybe that’s why I like him. Anyone that scares the shit out of the nuts who think God’s going to suck them up, into outer-space, while the rest of us are left here to suffer in lakes of fire, is OK in my book… Anyway, I just got a letter from the anti-Christ and I thought that it was worth passing along… It would appear that he’s not satisfied just getting himself elected to the Senate. He’s identified three other Democratic candidates that he’d like to bring along with him (the anti-Christ’s got a posse), and he’s requesting that you help make that happen. Here’s his letter, with a few changes:

Mark, old buddy, the new site design looks great. My only complaint is that there aren’t more photos of Clementine.

As you know, during my eight years in the Illinois State Senate, I spent six in the minority and two in the majority. I can tell you from first-hand experience how significant the difference really is. What we were able to accomplish in those two years was profound and amazing — from covering thousands more children with affordable health care to creating a state earned income tax credit that put $100 million in the pockets of working families.

I have learned that people don’t expect government to solve all their problems. But they sense, deep in their bones, that with just a slight change in priorities, we can make sure that every child in America has a decent shot at life, and that the doors of opportunity remain open to all.

I believe taking back the Democratic majority in the U.S. Senate will mean a real change in the priorities in Washington, and more importantly, significant change for everyday people across America.

There are three candidates I hope you will consider supporting today who each have a great chance of winning their seats. Two of these races also offer us an opportunity to take back a key seat from the Republicans. If we win these important races, I believe we’ll shift the Senate back to our column and to an agenda that puts people ahead of special interests.

Brad Carson, running for U.S. Senate from Oklahoma, is an engaging young Congressman locked in the battle of his life against one of the most conservative, negative former Congressmen in America, Tom Coburn. This race is in a dead heat, with a lot of Oklahoma voters still undecided.

Coburn’s politics aren’t just conservative, they’re radical. Coburn stated during the campaign that he believes that people who perform abortions should receive the death penalty, that global warming is a hoax, and that the Department of Education should be abolished. As he said recently: “I’m not just running against Brad Carson, I’m running against the liberal media, and anybody that doesn’t believe in pro-life and the sanctity of the family, and heterosexual normalcy versus homosexual deviancy.” Last week, the conservative special interests supporting Coburn funneled hundreds of thousands of dollars into a smear campaign to defeat Brad Carson, including $500,000 from Bob Perry, the “Swift Boat Veterans” founder.

We must do everything we can to ensure Brad Carson is elected.

The second candidate I hope you’ll help send with me to the U.S. Senate is former Alaska Governor Tony Knowles. Tony is currently leading in the polls by a slight margin despite the fact that he is running in a largely Republican State. His opponent, Lisa Murkowski, has been a strong supporter of various special interests, from the pharmaceutical companies to companies that ship American jobs overseas. Tony Knowles has an impressive record of service in Alaska, creating jobs, providing health care to thousands more families, and improving the quality of education.

Lastly, we need to elect Betty Castor in the state of Florida, a key battleground for both the Presidential race and for control of the U.S. Senate. Betty has been a long-time progressive leader as a past Education Commissioner, State Senator, and University President. Her opponent, Mel Martinez, a former Bush cabinet member, has been running a shameless attack campaign against Betty, alleging her support for terrorists, among other attacks. Martinez’ campaign has been so distasteful one newspaper went so far as to withdraw their endorsement. Betty currently has a 3% lead in the polls, her message has been well received and the newspapers are now endorsing her in droves. But Betty needs to keep her positive message on the air in this expensive media state. Please consider helping her with immediate support.

I want to be sure Tony Knowles, Betty Castor and Brad Carson join me in Washington. Their successes will go a long way to helping us take back the Senate.

We must elect John Kerry, and we must win back the Senate.

There are just a few days left until this election. I know you are tired and have given generously, but I ask you to consider giving again to make this election a win for everyday people in need of hope across this country.

Much is riding on all of our hard work and support on November 2nd. Thank you for all you have done.

Sincerely,
Your friend,
The very evil Barack Obama

And, as I find it extremely difficult not to comply with his wishes, here are two new photos of Clementine, a little girl who is very much looking forward to being bounced on her uncle Barack’s knee when he gets into the White House.

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9 Comments

  1. chris
    Posted October 14, 2004 at 2:21 pm | Permalink

    Mark!,

    Oh My Anti-Gawd! I got the same letter from Barack, only he wanted pictures of my children on your website. Goog thing I can’t figure out how to redownload digital photos! Yes, Clemmy is cute.

    Chris

  2. mark
    Posted October 14, 2004 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

    My mom just called to ask if I was really friends with Obama.

  3. Posted October 15, 2004 at 1:04 pm | Permalink

    We get lots of letters from Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton. A couple came to me from Richard Gere about the trouble in Tibet. That was pretty cool because I didn’t expect them.

    You can tell a lot about a person their stack of junkmail from important people.

  4. mark
    Posted October 16, 2004 at 12:01 pm | Permalink

    I got an email from Wayne Newton once. He was trying to sell me Mexican Viagra… I guess he’s fallen on hard times.

  5. Posted February 14, 2005 at 11:07 pm | Permalink

    Elect me for Antichrist. Be a part of the Victorious New World Order!
    http://www.vnwo666.1colony.com

    P.S. Nice site, Mark. I like your predilection for evil!

  6. Jorge Marquez
    Posted April 8, 2005 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

    The trut is that god is the only way

  7. Jorge Marquez
    Posted April 8, 2005 at 4:39 pm | Permalink

    Whell It is true that God

  8. Posted April 8, 2005 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

    Damnit, Jorge, I keep trying to tell people that you don’t go “up” into outerspace, you go “Out!”

    Is it called “Upperspace?” Why do you think that is? It’s because there are at least 3 dimensions at work here, and you’ve only taken two of them into account.

    “in” lakes of fire is technically correct, though.

  9. Posted October 26, 2005 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

    I AM 666 ?

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