Mark Maynard | 2004 | September

extreme makeover: blog edition

By Mark | September 26, 2004

A few months ago, a friend and a reader of this site, a fellow by the name of Steve Cherry, gave me a call and told me that I was an idiot for not leaving Blogger. Steve, you see, is a programmer, and he thought that my site could be better… Steve saw potential where the rest of you saw shit… But, being a idiot, I kept right on doing what I was doing until Steve, reaching a point of frustration that he could no longer live with, offered to move me over to a new system himself. (If you think of Steve as a man with a wheelbarrow and me as a man with no arms or legs that needed desperately to cross a street, or, better yet, the information superhighway, you wouldn’t be too far off.) What you’re enjoying today is the handiwork of Steve. Steve, and Steve alone, is to be thanked for it. My hope is that you enjoy it as much as I do.

Thanks to Steve, you’ll now be able to search through the archives (once they all get transferred over), sort the posts by category, and even syndicate this site. Having no clue whatsoever as to how any of this works, I am now, and forever more, dependent upon Steve. Steve has complete control over me. Even if, in a fit of anger, I decided to post something bad about Steve, it wouldn’t matter. Steve has all of my passwords. If Steve doesn’t like a post, it’ll be down within minutes. “I am,” as the younger generation might say, “Steve’s bitch,” and I’m OK with that.

Lest you think that I accepted all of this work for free, I should tell you that I did buy Steve a glass of scotch whiskey, a plate of crispy bacon, and a pair of tattered Ypsipanties in trade. Maynards might be many things, but they are a proud people, and they don’t accept handouts… at least not when anyone’s looking.

Posted in Mark's Life | 21 Comments

biting off more than he can chew, he asks you to chew too

By Mark | September 26, 2004

OK, there are a few things that I need to tell you. First, the new issue of Crimewave USA, which I told you we were trying to get out before the election, is on hold until the end of the year. We just didn’t have the time or the money to do a good job, so we decided to postpone it. Instead, I’ve decided to invest my time and effort into the Kerry campaign and trying to secure the state of Michigan for him. Today, I signed up with MoveOn.org to be an Ypsilanti precinct leader in their Leave No Voter Behind campaign. As a precinct leader, I’ve pledged eight to ten hours a week between now and the election, and that wouldn’t have left much room for the magazine, even if we’d been able to scrape together the money to go to press. (I came to the conclusion that the magazine, even if it were done extremely well, probably wouldn’t have delivered nearly as many votes as I could on my own, in my neighborhood.)

As for my association with MoveOn, I wasn’t quick to get onboard. I looked at the other groups active in Michigan, their funding levels and their plans, and, after considering the pros and cons of each, I concluded that MoveOn offered the best hope of delivering my state. (ACT, having recently determined that Michigan is likely to go for Kerry, has pulled all of the troops they had deployed in the state, relocating them to Ohio.) By later tonight, I’ll know more, but here’s the way I understand it right now, after having spent the morning at the MoveOn headquarters in Ann Arbor.

1) MoveOn believes that if they can deliver 500,000 additional “swing state” votes for Kerry that he could win the election.

2) To see this accomplished, they’ve identified 10,000 precincts within those states, 700 of which are in Michigan.

3) Within each precinct, their plan is to identify registered, but non-regular voters that would most likely vote for Kerry, and then get their asses to the polls.

4) In Michigan, where people do not register with their party affiliation, they will be going strictly by the demographics. Accordingly, MoveOn has chosen precincts that are heavily weighted toward the liberal end of the spectrum, and then identified voters within those precincts who have voted sporadically in the past.

5) Each precinct leader, of which downtown Ypsilanti will have 10, will be given a list of at least 250 individuals who fit those criteria.

6) The precinct leader is to find between 5 and 10 volunteers who will visit each of these individuals at home, as many as two or three times each.

7) The hope is for each precinct to deliver 150 votes for Kerry that may not have been cast otherwise.

8) The plan isn’t to change anyone’s mind. At this late date, it’s all about getting registered voters to the polls. (note: Voter registration doesn’t end until October 3rd, so if you’re going out canvassing for Kerry before then, be sure to take registration forms with you.)

9) On the day of the election the precinct volunteers, having agreed to take the day off from work, will do whatever is necessary to get these people to the polls.

So, now I’m waiting to hear back from my contact at MoveOn as to how I access their on-line tools so that I can begin mapping out a strategy. (I don’t know yet which precinct I’ll have, how large it is, how many people within it that they’ve identified, etc.) The first step, I imagine, will be finding people to help out. Toward that end, Linette has agreed to make volunteer flyers that I can start putting up around the neighborhood and the Eastern Michigan University campus on Monday. And, my hope is that perhaps a few of you MM.com readers can be persuaded as well. (If you think you might be interested, send me an email or leave a comment here.) I know that several of you are already working with other organizations, but if this MoveOn program sounds like something that you might be interested in, I’d appreciate it if you’d consider volunteering a few hours a week, especially if you live in Ypsi. (If you don’t live in Michigan, you can go to the MoveOn site to find opportunities closer to home.)

I should add that MoveOn isn’t the only group with a plan like this one. From what I understand, the GOP is focusing their efforts on the western side of our state, in areas that are predominantly Republican, trying to turn out the very same on-again, off-again voters for their side.

So, 10,000 precincts, each trying to turn out 150 non-regular voters for Kerry, means that MoveOn could net as many as 1.5 million votes.

THE FACTS:
Michigan has 17 electoral votes. Without Michigan, Kerry will have to win Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida to stay in the race. There are 36 days until the election. That’s fewer than 1,000 hours. We need to get to work.

OK, if you live in Ypsi and want to help, send me an email.

Thanks,
-Mark

Posted in Politics | 10 Comments

the eyes have it

By Mark | September 26, 2004

When I was a freshman in college, it was during the Reagan administration, and the Meese Commission on Pornography was in full swing. Porn was in the news almost daily, and, for that reason, someone on my campus had arranged to have Larry Flynt, the publisher of fine magazines like Hustler and Cat Fancy, come and visit us. I got to see him the evening of his visit, as he took command of the stage in his solid-gold wheelchair, and went head to head with a defender of the Meese Commission report. I can’t recall who it was now that the paraplegic pornographer debated, but it was either a southern televangelist, or someone like Donald Wildmon, the preacher who’s since made a name for himself going after the likes of Howard Stern though his ominously named organization, The American Family Association. As I watched the debate unfold, I became concerned about the Meese Commission and what it might mean to First Amendment, and, a few weeks later, when asked to choose a topic for a term paper, I chose pornography.

During the course of my research on that paper, I not only wrote to a number of smut publishers, asking for their thoughts (and free samples), but I read a great deal of dry, scholarly work on obscenity. One book that I read, that was neither dry or scholarly, was a short 1928 novel by French librarian, George Bataille, called The Eye. As it had been referenced in a number of other works, I’d felt that I should be familiar with it, just as I felt I had to be familiar with “Big Tit Ass Dildo Bondage,” one of the magazine titles mentioned frequently by Edwin Meese as he toured the country calling for limitations on free speech. (I recall Larry Flynt thanking Meese for ferreting out such titles that he and others might not otherwise have found on their own. I remember him suggesting that we all go buy a copy of the report and use it as a reference guide.)

I don’t remember much about The Eye, but there was one scene that was burned into my mind. In it, the two protagonists, a man and a woman who you might say had an issue or two with sex, go into a Catholic Church, sexually torture and rape a priest, then dig out one of his eyes. The woman, as I recall, then proceeds to insert his eye repeatedly into her vagina to the point of climax, while he’s forced to watch her with his one remaining eye. Ultimately, he’s killed. It was just one of many such scenes, each designed to be more shocking than the one that preceded it… So, you might be wondering why I’m bringing this up now. Well, I was reminded of The Eye yesterday, while reading the New York Times. It would appear as though some daring young director has made a film version. As I don’t think that it’ll probably be family friendly, I was wondering if one of you could go and see it and report back.

Oh, while we’re on the subject of using current technologies to breathe new life into old obscenity, I just noticed this blurb in the Ann Arbor News.

A serial flasher who has exposed himself near the University of Michigan Central Campus area struck for the ninth time this morning – but with a new twist, Ann Arbor Police said. This time, the man – who pulled a T-shirt over his head as he has in the past – used a light from a cell phone to illuminate his mid-section while he fondled himself, reports said.

Thank God for technology.

And, while we’re discussing the obscene, did you hear that Ashcroft is using the recommendations of the 911 Commission as a cover to sneak through further legislation (not suggested by the commission) that runs contrary to the Bill of Rights? Here’s a clip from the article:

The new bill, called the “Tools to Fight Terrorism Act of 2004”, would increase the government’s powers to secretly obtain personal records without judicial review, limit judicial discretion over the use of secret evidence in criminal cases, eliminate important foreign intelligence wiretapping safeguards and allow the use of secret intelligence wiretaps in immigration cases without notice or an opportunity to suppress illegally acquired evidence.

And, almost equally obscene… AT&T just sent me notice of their new platinum card. The impressive 3-D design of the mailer made me think that something substantial must be inside (as they’d intended it to), but, guess what? It was just a block of Styrofoam. That’s right, there’s nothing in the package but a small sample card and this Hickory Farms cheese-sized block of Styrofoam. It pissed me off, and, instead of taking advantage of the offer for a new account, I intend to cancel the account that I already have with AT&T. Junk mail is bad enough. When they go the one step further to add an unnecessary substance that contributes to global warming, I have to draw the line.

Posted in Free Speech | 7 Comments

now, that’s some rat fucking that nixon would have been proud of

By Mark | September 25, 2004

You may have heard about it by now, but a few days ago, the Republican National Committee sent out mailers in West Virginia and Arkansas that told people how the Bible will be banned if Kerry is elected President this November, and that men will be marrying men across the country. Yesterday, the New York Times picked up the story. Here’s a quote:

The Republican Party acknowledged yesterday sending mass mailings to residents of two states warning that “liberals” seek to ban the Bible. It said the mailings were part of its effort to mobilize religious voters for President Bush.

The mailings include images of the Bible labeled “banned” and of a gay marriage proposal labeled “allowed.” A mailing to Arkansas residents warns: “This will be Arkansas if you don’t vote.” A similar mailing was sent to West Virginians.

If you didn’t believe it before, maybe you’ll believe it now — this is about winning at all costs to them. It’s not about playing fair, it’s about winning now, and then dealing with the repercussions later. They proved in 2,000 that they could bully the Democrats into stepping down, and they’ve built their entire strategy around it.

As evidence of this, see the new ad from the Flotilla of Douchebags that focuses on Kerry, “meeting with the enemy” while Americans were dying in Vietnam, with no mention of the fact that he was indeed meeting with both sides and that the occasion was the Paris Peace Talks, where he and others were attempting to craft an agreement that would bring an end to the fighting between the North and South Vietnamese.

And, while we’re on the subject of manipulating the American voters, you should probably also take a moment to consider Bush’s meeting this week with Pakistan’s President Musharraf and the fact that he just called for the nation’s strategic oil reserves to be opened. So, gas prices will be falling, and, one would suspect, the effort to find bin Laden in Pakistan will be stepped up. (Bush not only recommitted the $3 billion to Musharraf, but he also reversed policy and stopped calling for the President of Pakistan to step down as the head of the military.)

And, then there was this article in the Washington Post which catalogs all of the recent statements made by Republicans which either say that Al Qeaeda would like Kerry to win the election or that another terror attack is eminent if Kerry wins. I believe it’s the opinion of the Post, as well as my own, that it’s not a coincidence – that this is a coordinated attack, and not a series of unfortunate misstatements. (Thank you, Jim, for that link.)

So, the sum up, the Republicans are using shell organizations to insinuate that Kerry, like Jane Fonda (remember that fake photo that was being circulated earlier), was a tool of the North Vietnamese, while their leaders in Congress are insinuating at every turn the two seemingly contradictory things – 1) Al Qeaeda wants Kerry to win, and 2) that they’ll attack us in a big way if he does. Meanwhile, the Republican National Committee has begun to spread the word among the evangelicals that their Bibles will be confiscated by President Kerry, who will be too busy ensuring that hot, man on man sex will be taking place on every street corner to protect us against terrorism. And, at this same time, Bush has been bribing Musharraf to hurry up with his October surprise (bin Laden’s head on a spike), and manipulating the strategic oil reserve to force gas prices down. So, to those of you who have been content to sit on the sidelines and watch this unfold as spectators, I have to ask, “How much is too much? How much do you have to see before you decide to get off your asses and do something?”

*This post was brought to you by the good folks at Vanity Fair, who ask, “What the fuck really happened in 2,000 anyway?”

Posted in Politics | 3 Comments

the kerry phone banks

By Mark | September 22, 2004

Tonight was my first night working the phones for Senator Kerry. It felt good to be doing something concrete after so many years of just complaining about things to people on-line who, to a great degree, probably share my view of the current administration. So, I just walked into the local office of the Democratic Party and volunteered. After a fifteen-minute tutorial on persuasive communications, and a quick run-through of the script, I was handed a file, given a pencil, and shoved toward a phone. Unfortunately for me, the file Id inherited was from a rural part of Michigan some thirty minutes from here.

My first call, right off the bat, was to a man who said that he was only interested in one issue the rights of the unborn. As I didnt have much to say on that issue, I said, Well, the two issues that brought me to the Kerry campaign are the war in Iraq and the economy. I understand that youre passionate about abortion, but are there perhaps other issues that youre considering this year, like the loss of a quarter million jobs in our state alone? He thought about it for a moment and then said that, yes, there was something else he cared a great deal about – gay marriage. Knowing I wasnt going to get anywhere, I decided to cut my losses, thank him for his time, and move on. It was with some degree of dread that I noticed that my next three calls were all to people in the same small town that shared his same last name. (Im happy to report that one of the women in that family, who confided in me that she was a bit of a black sheep, planned to vote for Kerry, and that her son did too.)

note: Speaking with this first fellow, I was reminded of this person that I found out about yesterday while reading Metafilter.

Fortunately, the calls got easier and easier to make as I honed my pitch and got more comfortable with the material. The more I personalized the pitch, the better I did. I found that I did particularly well with young women, who, more often that not, were willing to hear me out, even if they didnt disagree. (I was envious of the woman working the phone next to me, who had a list of only un-married women to contact.) I think I may have actually convinced one or two uncommitted voters who were leaning toward Bush to lean toward Kerry. The things that really seemed to work, at least in the small communities that I was calling, were Kerrys pledge to stop rewarding American businesses who were sending jobs oversees and Kerrys newly announced goal to get America out of Iraq in four years time. I had one young woman, who was pro-Bush going into our conversation, saying, At least Kerry has a plan, by the time we said goodbye. That was the highlight of my evening.

I suspect that Ill get more of the same when I go back for my next shift, more people like the woman today who just said flatly, My familys always been Republican and always will be, and more people hanging up on me. Thats OK though. Its worth As for the woman who just said that she was a Republican, that was probably the most frustrating call because she refused to even say what the issues were that she cared about. When she said, Im voting Republican because thats how my familys always voted, I told her that I wouldnt have called myself a Democrat until I looked objectively at what Bush was doing to our country. And, I told her, I wasnt convinced that the Republican party of today was the same Republican party that her family voted for when she was young. I brought up the deficit and the rollback of environmental safeguards as examples. Still nothing. She was polite. She listened. But she just wouldnt budge from her, Im a Republican stance. When I asked her what she cared about or what she thought of the state of our country, she told me that it just didnt matter to her. I could accept, begrudgingly, the opinions of the man who said that gay marriage was more important than North Korean nuclear missile, but I just couldnt accept this woman saying that she refuses to think about it.

The good news is, it all might be an academic exercise at this point in Michigan anyway. In the past few weeks, as the rest of the country has started to shift toward Bush, that wasnt the case in Michigan, at least not so much. We stayed on the Kerry side, and, now, analysts are saying that me might be a lock, a sure thing. Its apparently become so obvious that the group Americans Coming Together, a progressive political grassroots movement like MoveOn, just decided to pack up all their operations in Michigan and shift their resources to Ohio, a more swinging swing state. Heres a quote from the Detroit Free Press on the move:

Americans Coming Together (ACT), the political fund-raising group behind high-profile rock concerts meant to increase turnout for Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, is closing all 10 of its offices in Michigan and reassigning most of its 100 staff members to other battleground states.

The shift comes as polls show Kerry still holding a lead ranging from 4 to 6 percentage points over President George W. Bush in Michigan, but with Kerry trailing in other states considered must-wins for the Democrat.

My plan is to keep working anyway. We cant afford to lose Michigan. If the numbers keep moving in Kerrys favor though, Im thinking about heading down to Ohio in late October for a few days.

OK, its my turn to bathe the baby, so I have to go Goodnight my invisible friends.

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