in praise of one particular toilet

Im proud of our toilet. It did something today that I didnt think it would be capable of If only there were an Im proud of my toilet bumper sticker.

OK, on a completely different note, I was thinking last night, after being awoken by a fly in my mouth, that there might be a market for yard signs, like the ones we see here in Michigan that say Another Family for Peace, that say, Another Family for Conspicuous Consumption. I wonder if people might pay a couple bucks for the privilege of staking one in the front yard of that McMansion with the his and hers Hummers that they pass each day on the way to work.

As for the fly in my mouth, it was one of millions. Our house is filled with them. Linette and I think theres a rotting corpse somewhere, but theres no smell. Its like something out of the Amityville horror.

Then, after spitting out the fly, and struggling to get back to sleep, Linette woke me up to tell me that shed just had a dream in which Michael Richards, the guy who played Kramer on Seinfeld, had become a born again Christian during the taping of a miniseries in which he played Jesus Christ. (If only Mel Gibson had such inspired casting.)

On the subject of Christ, if you havent done so yet, read the comments attached to my post on the Giant Jesus a few days ago. Theyre pretty entertaining. (And I’m thinking about writing to Larry Flynt with my Giant Larry idea.)

And there was lots of news I didnt get to mention last week, like all the back and forth over the documents that 60 Minutes released concerning Bushs service, or non-service, in the Alabama National Guard. Im sorry about that, but I just didnt have the time. One of these days, once the revenues really start rolling in, I want to hire a full-time political editor. Until then, I guess were just going to have to let some of these stories pass us by as I concentrate on things like toilet praise and monkey taint.

There was one article from last week that I did want to link to though, because you might not see it otherwise. It was sent in by our friend, Chelsea L., international woman of mystery, and its on Michigans role in the upcoming presidential election. Heres the part that I found most interesting:

The Michigan Republican Party has tried to scare Michigan voters from voting for Kerry through its “Endangered SUV Tour” and a radio ad.

A portion of the ad says: “If you drive a pickup truck or an SUV, take good care of it. It might be the last one you’ll ever own. Democrats in Washington are using junk science to push unreasonable mileage restrictions on new vehicles. It’s a backdoor plan to outlaw trucks, vans and SUVs. Economists predict that if this crazy scheme becomes law, Michigan would lose 130,000 jobs.”

And that, my invisible friends, is something that not even my toilet could handle.

And, on that note, I must bid you goodnight.

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