extreme makeover: blog edition

A few months ago, a friend and a reader of this site, a fellow by the name of Steve Cherry, gave me a call and told me that I was an idiot for not leaving Blogger. Steve, you see, is a programmer, and he thought that my site could be better… Steve saw potential where the rest of you saw shit… But, being a idiot, I kept right on doing what I was doing until Steve, reaching a point of frustration that he could no longer live with, offered to move me over to a new system himself. (If you think of Steve as a man with a wheelbarrow and me as a man with no arms or legs that needed desperately to cross a street, or, better yet, the information superhighway, you wouldn’t be too far off.) What you’re enjoying today is the handiwork of Steve. Steve, and Steve alone, is to be thanked for it. My hope is that you enjoy it as much as I do.

Thanks to Steve, you’ll now be able to search through the archives (once they all get transferred over), sort the posts by category, and even syndicate this site. Having no clue whatsoever as to how any of this works, I am now, and forever more, dependent upon Steve. Steve has complete control over me. Even if, in a fit of anger, I decided to post something bad about Steve, it wouldn’t matter. Steve has all of my passwords. If Steve doesn’t like a post, it’ll be down within minutes. “I am,” as the younger generation might say, “Steve’s bitch,” and I’m OK with that.

Lest you think that I accepted all of this work for free, I should tell you that I did buy Steve a glass of scotch whiskey, a plate of crispy bacon, and a pair of tattered Ypsipanties in trade. Maynards might be many things, but they are a proud people, and they don’t accept handouts… at least not when anyone’s looking.

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  1. Posted September 27, 2004 at 1:36 am | Permalink

    Nice surprise!

  2. Chuck
    Posted September 27, 2004 at 4:14 am | Permalink

    I like it.

  3. Lori
    Posted September 27, 2004 at 6:51 am | Permalink

    Looks Great!

  4. chris
    Posted September 27, 2004 at 9:25 am | Permalink

    Though I find it visually pleasing, and possibly easier to navigate…PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN!!! It is like when my ISP server changes the start page and once I learn to navigate it they change it again. I am too old and harried to spend to much time learning how to bitch on someone’s blogsite. And Mark, how’d you like that New York Time’s mag cover story on bloggers? That chick seemed too much and far less deserving than you. BTW, love the link option!!! For when you are on vacation or just boring that day.

  5. Tony Buttons
    Posted September 27, 2004 at 12:10 pm | Permalink

    What’s next, a ball shaving tutorial, an interactive monkey taint? I’m so excited to see what the future holds.

  6. Posted September 27, 2004 at 2:09 pm | Permalink

    Mark, you know you shouldn’t thank me, Hillary will never have to buy underwear again.

    Hey, Linette deserves the real credit. She’s responsible for the design.

    Don’t thank me yet, I still have to transfer the archives from the arcane Blogger to the sligtly less arcane MT format. Only then can I roll it into this blog.

    Unemployment rules.

  7. Posted September 27, 2004 at 6:07 pm | Permalink

    I have no idea what you’re getting at, Steve…. Because of me, your wife will never have to wear underwear again? I’m not sure how to take that. I think it’s an insult… probably Polish in origin. I wish me great grandfather Florian was still alive so I could ask him.

    As for the rest of you, thank you for your kind words. I like the new site too, and, as much as Steve doesn’t want to take credit, it really was all his doing. I would have been happy to have stuck with Blogger until the bitter end. He’s a good man, and I will never forget his intervention.

  8. Posted September 28, 2004 at 7:47 am | Permalink

    Keep me in mind for your next redesign. I like bacon and a free drink, although I’m not sure I need a bitch.

  9. Posted September 28, 2004 at 8:05 am | Permalink

    I really like the look Mark. It’s awesome! I can’t wait until the entire archive is pulled over so we can see what it is that you’ve talked about most since the beginning. Although I notice that “Ball Shaving” is missing from the list. Does that fall under “Civil Liberties”, “Pop Culture”, “Observations”, or “Other”?

    Oh yeah, and DAMN YOU for leaving Blogger! Heh.

  10. Tony Buttons
    Posted September 28, 2004 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    The classification, Collin, would depend upon whom it was that was having their balls shaved, I reckon.

  11. kez panel
    Posted September 28, 2004 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    I really like all the new additions to your blog. It makes it much easier to read at work!
    Your layout matches my excel sheets and I can now page down to hide your headers.

    this text is blue.

  12. Posted September 28, 2004 at 3:12 pm | Permalink

    I just finished importing the archives. I managed to pry 999 posts from the clutches of the bloated blogger.

    Posts going back to March 2003 are now searchable and have permalinks.

  13. mark
    Posted September 28, 2004 at 3:19 pm | Permalink

    No fucking way! You rock, Mr. Cherry. Soon, you will have a brand new pair of Ypsipanties for yourself!

  14. Posted September 28, 2004 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    Never rip never tear Ypsilanti underwear.

    I just did a search for “ball shaving”.

  15. mark
    Posted September 28, 2004 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

    Now, I suspect you’ve done that before, Steve.

  16. Posted September 29, 2004 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    I see there are now 997 “Others”… Are you (Mark) planning on going through them and assigning categories, or is the past going to remain lumped in one category?

  17. Posted September 29, 2004 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

    Mark, it’s possible to transfer them to another category like “pre enlightenment”.

    I haven’t yet discoverd any elegant ways to wrestle your remaining posts from Blogger. The thought of deleting 999 posts to allow the old ones to “rise to the top” sounds horrible.

    Talk about butchery! Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

  18. Posted September 30, 2004 at 4:39 am | Permalink

    Yeah, it’ll take me a while, but I plan to go through and add categories to all the old posts. I figure I can do a dozen a week or so. The thought of going through and rereading all the garbage that I’ve written over the past three years doesn’t really excite me, but, since it’s for the good of humanity, I don’t think I have a choice.

    (I’ll send you an email about the other stuff, Steve.)

  19. Posted September 30, 2004 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    All your comments are now switched on!

  20. Dave Morris
    Posted September 30, 2004 at 1:52 pm | Permalink


    Is that a monkey on your back or a squirrel? Why do your hands look like snakes?


  21. Posted September 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm | Permalink

    That drawing was something that I did last year. It was an idea I had for an album cover. I was going to call the record, “Growing Rats on the Backs of Men.” Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that, and kept the mystery. As for the hands being like snakes, I’d like to say it was on purpose, as that’s a pretty cool idea, but I’m afraid it was just because I can’t draw.

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