the clementine

On July 28, I announced a competition to design a new adult beverage to be named in honor of my daughter, Clementine. The only stipulation was that the recipe had to call, at some point, for my daughters foot to be inserted into the concoction and sloshed around a bit. Other that that, everything was fair game Oh, yes, and it had to include hard alcohol too. Other that that, everything was fair game.

Well, we received thousands and thousands of responses and, over the course of the past week, Ive whittled them down to just three finalists. Here they are, in no particular order I should say first, however, that Id like to thank everyone that wrote in. In a perfect world, youd all be finalists. Unfortunately, however, I do, on occasion, have to make executive decisions here at And this was one of those times. If you’re heart-broken over the fact that youre not included among the finalists, Im sorry. Next time, try harder And there will be a next time.)

The first finalist was submitted by woman who calls herself Lumbergrl. Heres her recipe:

The Clementine

1.5 oz Absolut Mandarin
1 oz Cranberry juice
2 TB Blood orange juice

Obviously this should be stirred, not shaken, by a certain little girl’s foot, and strained into a martini glass or sippy cup, depending on how you raise your children. Garnish with a “butterfly,” which is a maraschino cherry wrapped in an orange slice.

The second finalist comes from Beth Abraham, professional pig wrestler and the creator of Huhnar.

The Clementine

Peel one clementine and throw it in vodka
Add grenadine
Add a dash of pineapple juice
Garnish with a beautiful umbrella

The third finalist comes in by the way of a man named Ken.

The Clementine

2 jiggers of Triple Sec
6 oz. of Sprite
2 Tbsp. of Enfamil baby formula fortified with iron

Plunge mixture several times with an infant’s foot and pour into a highball glass. Garnish with a piece of zwieback toast with a dollop of mashed peaches on top.

So, there you have it, the three finalist vying for a chance to win an original Mark Maynard drawing. If you feel compelled to try any of them, please leave a comment and let me know how it goes. Please know, however, that your lobbying will have no effect on me Linette and I will, over the course of the next week or so, be trying each of these drinks here, in the Crimewave kitchen. The results will be posted at

Thank you again to all who entered Youre what makes this website great.

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  1. Ken
    Posted January 26, 2005 at 8:25 pm | Permalink

    I left your message at work and I don’t think I really got a chance to read the whole thing but I got that you wanted me to verify my drink recipe. I would guess that you are aiming for a top shelf drink here since you are naming it after your daughter so I would use Grand Marnier for the Triple Sec. I think for zwieback toast you could use Gerber or Nabisco brand. I kind of remember one of them having nice scallop edges. Any you can find in the baby aisle will do. I said to use 2 tablespoons of Enfamil but I think that may be a typo. That much would probably turn the drink from great to not so great. Make that 2 teaspoons. That will make a heathy drink, maybe even cancel out the “badness” of the alcohol.

    Let me know how it works out! I hope I win!


    PS- I posted here because it said you email box was full.

  2. mark
    Posted January 26, 2005 at 11:05 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, Ken. I’ll let you know how it goes… Wish me luck.

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