I dont know what I was expecting from the Republicans. Maybe I thought that they had it in them to put on a decent show. (McCarthy, after all, was a pretty good showman, right?) Maybe I thought that just because they couldnt plan an occupation, it didnt mean that they couldnt program a few hours of interesting television. Well, apparently television programming is just one more thing that they cant manage The convention, to put it simply, sucks From the terrible alt rock (probably Christian) band that rose up out of the floor, to the over-the-top 9/11-themed presentation by actor Ron Silver, best known for his reoccurring role on the hilarious hit TV show Veronicas Closet, every single thing they tried fell flat.

Where the Democrats had Barack Obama delivering a moving speech about there being just one America, the Republicans had Ron Silver screaming:

The President is doing EXACTLY the right thing!

UHF stations have produced far better original programming… And the last time I saw computer graphics that looked that state-of-the-art, it was on a Texas Instruments calculator. Did you see the giant, pixilated elephant with the moving trunk? I bet they were fucking beside themselves with joy when they figured out how to get its truck to go up and down. That must have just blown them away during the rehearsals.

Somehow the Republicans have managed to take all the nuttiness of evangelical Christianity, and drain away all the showmanship. Theyve taken something bad and made it worse. Theyve made it boring What they needed was a little snake handling, some speaking in tongues, a wealthy man in a wheelchair leaping up and strutting around the stage after getting a tax cut. Now, that would have been a show.

I would go on and on, but its not worth it. Your time would better be spent exploring the sites Pleasure Captains for Truth and Cheerleaders for Truth than listening to me whine about the Republicans and their pathetic display of Im more American than you patriotism.

Some Republicans have apparently begun to see through the smoke and mirrors though. My friend Doug, who attended yesterdays march in New York, just wrote to tell me about a group of former Republican senators, governors, and public officials that took out a full page ad in the New York Times this morning to call for the GOP to abandon “partisan ideology” and return to mainstream pragmatism. And MoveOn is launching their new ad campaign today, focusing on Republicans who have made the switch to Kerry. (The ads might not get as much play in the media as the Swift Boat ones, but the timing is great and the message is perfect – “This is not the Republican party I know and love.”)

I know its probably really rotten and undemocratic of me, but I just suggested to someone in the comments section of this blog that she should invite all of her Republican relatives to a Food Poisoning Party the night before the election As much as Id feel terrible if she took my advice, I do kind of like the idea Maybe Ill post some recipes that incorporate tiny flecks of feces and the drippings of raw chicken, and a sample Bush Bash (aka Food Poisoning Party) invitation that folks can copy, if I get motivated.

OK, I have to go to bed now. As much as I wish it werent the case, I have to work tomorrow Oh, how I wish I was in New York, where people are being encouraged to take the day off. Instead, I have to get up in the morning and make my way though the hoards of newly arrived metrosexuals and soon to be girls-gone-wild, students who, for the most part, would rather spend their parents money on tanning booth sessions and chemical teeth whitening procedures than on gas money to get to New York for the protests. It is a depressing, fucking world, my invisible (some would say nonexistent) friends. Good night.

I bumped into a fellow Ypsi blogger this afternoon and we started debating this idea that I mentioned a few days ago, that all of us who operate blogs within the boundaries of Ypsilanti should come together to host some kind of event focusing on local politics. Well, after an hour or so of kicking the idea around, we came to the conclusion that, as many of us still dont know one another (at least off-line), it would probably be worthwhile to have some kind of social event first to test the waters. (And there is a very real possibility, I suppose, that we wont like one another. I, for one, have been told on more than one occasion that I lack a personality.) So, he and I are going to speak with Linda French, the owner of the Sidetrack, and see if perhaps we can reserve the space next door (Frenchies) one evening in early September. Then, if that meeting goes well, and if people seem interested, we can form a committee to look into the possibility of hosting a debate between the candidates for Town Council, or something along those lines.

So, assuming I dont hear any objections, thats how this whole thing will start over beers in about two weeks. All local Bloggers and their readers from Ypsi will be invited. If there is an agenda, it will be minimal. The focus will be on mixing and brainstorming.

More to follow

Part of me, like maybe 10%, thinks that when John McCain takes the stage tomorrow night at the Republican National Convention, hell decide to do the right thing and say what he really thinks of George Bush, the man whose team, during the 2,000 Republican primaries, impugned his character, implied that he had betrayed his country in Vietnam, and, playing to the basest prejudices of southern voters, suggested that he had fathered a child with a black woman. McCain, if he chose to, could change the course of this country tomorrow night. If he took the podium during the convention and spoke the truth, saying that George Bush has proven to be a miserable failure as president, more interested in cutting taxes than keeping jobs and dealing with the national debt, more interested in following corporate interests into war than in protecting the men and women of America, he would decide this race once and for all. Of course, this wont happen. McCain, a fellow who I have always had the utmost respect for, will most likely tow the company line. Hell do what hes told. And, in that moment, he will jump the shark.

Id like to think that McCains a decent man who would say something if he could, but thats probably naive. At the end of the day hes probably just like any other politician, worried about preserving his own power. Id like to think that his arms being twisted, but its probably not. Its probably more likely that Bush is offering him something (either a position for himself, the sponsorship of his legislation, or something for the state of Arizona), than using threats to keep him towing the GOP line.

The way Id like to imagine it, its kind of like the film Mister Roberts For those of you who havent seen the film, Henry Fonda plays Douglas Roberts, a lieutenant onboard a supply ship during World War II, serving under an S.O.B. of a captain, played by James Cagney. The men onboard the ship look up to Roberts, who, when push comes to shove, always stands up to the captain on their behalf. At some point, however, the captain makes a deal with Roberts. In exchange for his unconditional support on all matters, the captain agrees to let the men on the ship have a very much needed shore leave. Well, when the men come back from their leave, they find Roberts a changed man, a man who agrees with everything that the captain says. They lose respect for him, not realizing that hes only doing it for them Well, Id like to think that McCain, if he does tow the Bush line tomorrow night, will just be doing it because hes looking out for us, like Douglas Roberts was. I know, however, that wont be the case. McCain will do what the president wants because he is, first and foremost, a Republican.

Of course, Ill be watching though, hoping that perhaps his conscious will get the best of him and hell choose to throw away his political career for the good of the country…. I said before that there might be a 10% chance of that happening. Now I think its more likely a 2% chance though. It just occurred to me that if McCain really wanted to do what was best for the country, he would have joined the Kerry ticket at the outset So, can I change my vote? I think McCain jumped the shark a few weeks ago, when he chose not to run as VP Either way, its sad.