if osama could vote

Someone sent me a link to a Washington Times piece yesterday concerning Al Qaedas plans to really cut loose and have some fun before our upcoming elections. I dont typically read the Washington Times, seeing as how its the worst non-student-run paper in the US, but I was wondering what their spin on the story would be, other than just to further push the message that we should all continue to be very, very afraid. Well, what I found, surprisingly, was some pretty impressive journalism. The Washington Times, apparently utilizing its vast network of sources, was able to unearth a US intelligence official, who could say with great certainty that Al Qaeda supported John Kerry. Heres the quote:

“The goal of the next attack is twofold: to damage the U.S. economy and to undermine the U.S. election,” the official said. “The view of al Qaeda is ‘anybody but Bush.’ “

I have two major issues with this line of thought. First, an attack like the one theyre describing, if it were to happen before the election, would only help Bush. It would take jobs, the economy, stem-cell research, and everything else off the table and make the election about terrorism, a subject that Bush has worked very hard to own. Regardless of whether or not its really the case, most Americans continue to see Bush as a tough, Well get that evil-doer, dead or alive, cowboy, someone who wont be a pussy (excuse me) when it comes time to fight.

My second major issue with the line taken by the Times, through this intelligence officer, is that it would have you believe that these radical Muslims, who really do want us all dead, could possibly dream of a better President for our country than George Bush. They couldnt have made a candidate better than Bush if they had a machine like that one the boys had in the movie Weird Science. They need a good, old, bible-thumping, in-tongues-speaking, born-again Christian. (While there was a good deal of kneeling taking place in the Clinton Whitehouse, it just wasnt the same.) I absolutely do not believe, even for a moment, that Osama bin Laden wants anyone other than George Bush at the helm when our ships next meet. And I dont just say that because hes got the religion either. I say that because, in spite of all the rhetoric, he hasnt made this country safer. He hasnt put a system in place to monitor our ports of entry. He hasnt even devoted significant resources to finding Osama bin Laden, the guy who attacked us in the first place.

The people involved in the planning of these attacks are not stupid. What they did in Spain, for instance, was not stupid. They changed an election, further alienated a partner in this war on terror, and drove the wedge a little deeper between the Islamic world and the West.

Much more believable than that quote from the Washington Times, I think, is this quote from the New Yorker article linked to in the last paragraph:

We are very keen that Bush does not lose the upcoming elections, the authors write. Bushs idiocy and religious fanaticism are useful, the authors contend, for they stir the Islamic world to action.