my fucking sink

The following photos will only be of interest to my friend Steve Hughes, so dont even bother looking at them unless youre him. Steves a contractor. Hes also a writer, a regular contributor to Crimewave, and the publisher of a great, toilet tank-sized magazine called Stupor. Ive never dealt with Steve the contractor before, but today I had to. I totally fucked up my bathroom and I needed help Anyway, I just got off the phone with him and he asked me to post some photos so he could tell what in the hell I was crying about.

All of this started a few weeks ago with a leaky faucet. Linette and I could live with the leaking, but today it crossed the line and became a steady stream. Pissed off, I got out a wrench and shut off the hot and cold water. If it were up to me, the depressed loser that I am, it would have ended there. I would have just left it like that until I either died or we moved Linette’s the kind of person that likes washing her hands after using the bathroom though, and I love her, so I set out to fix the leak.

For me, fixing something first involves removing everything that can be unscrewed… And the first problem came when I tried to force the spout to turn. I stuck a screwdriver into the spout and then began tugging on it as hard as I could. I didnt realize it at the time, but apparently the faucet was connected to the drain stopper by a metal connector. Well, in the process of forcing the faucet to twist off, I basically broke that connector and twisted it up into the form of a tightly coiled snake. Its complicated to explain, but if you look closely at the last photo, you might be able to make out a little bit of the twisted metal stuck up behind the sink where I can’t reach it.

The last shot, by the way, was taken from underneath the sink. (I felt gross taking them, like some shopping mall pervert snapping photos up womens skirts with a camera-phone.) Steve wanted me to be sure to get some photos from underneath so that he could see how difficult it would be to change the faucet completely. I think it’s probably impossible to do it without removing the sink from the wall, but Steve thinks that there’s a chance that we can do it.

In the shot above that, where Im pointing, Im trying to show the piece that I cant get out. According to the book on sinks (which we do have), this is the stem assembly, and it should come out easily. I just cant seem to get it tough… And that’s where I think the problem is. I tried for about an hour and then just curled up into a ball on the floor of the bathroom, kicking my feet against the side of the tub and moaning. That’s when Linette walked in and told me to call Steve.

OK, I have to go mow the lawn now. (That’s the one male task I’m capable of.) Sorry for fucking up the blog with my personal plumbing problems. It wont happen again.

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2 Comments

  1. Plumber
    Posted December 2, 2010 at 10:27 am | Permalink

    Sink fucking, you’ll be happy to know, is not prohibited in the Bible. So, have at it!

  2. Posted December 2, 2010 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    The good thing about technology is that you can now easily request for services like plumbing and heating in just a few keystrokes. You can even compare the different companies that offer the service and assess which one has the credibility in the field.

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