tired, old and in chicago

Linette and I drove to Chicago a few nights ago to pick up a load of used baby stuff from our friends Elizabeth and Flick. Their son, Ian, has already outgrown his bouncy seat, blanket with a built-in electronic heartbeat, and several pairs of tiny corduroys, and we werent about to let the opportunity pass us by… And, as luck would have it, there were two really cool things taking place that Saturday night in the Windy City – a symposium on everyones favorite band of abused children, the Shaggs and a showing of Jamie Meltzers film Off The Charts, followed by a panel discussion featuring Jamie and a number of people featured in the film, and live performances by a few song poets and some of the bands that admire their visionary work.

Our thought was that we could, in one weekend, whisk away a few hundred dollars of baby merchandise and, at the same time, fill up the next issue of Crimewave… We thought that we were pretty clever.

Thats not how things worked out though.

We got the baby booty, saw some friends, and ate a lot of food, but thats about all that we did. In spite of our interest in these other two events, we couldnt get motivated to leave the apartment of our friends Kurt and Patty.

Id like to blame it on the fact that Kurt had cut off the tip of his thumb, but, truth be told, that was all taken care of by 2:00 AM on Friday night. Sadly, it wasnt personal injury, but just plain laziness that kept us from going out.

Here we were, in Chicago, sitting just a few blocks from a party where 1) there are lots of cool, interesting people, and 2) several of these people actually know our magazine (we interviewed Jamie Meltzer for CW #15 and Im sure we had readers there), but I cant get my fat ass off the couch. Fortunately, I wasnt the only one. None of us wanted to go out. The excuse that we gave was that we wanted to stay in and watch the Chris Rock special on HBO. I didnt make it through the first fifteen minutes of it though. I was sitting on a couch, asleep, with a half a cookie in my hand before he dropped his 20th fuck.

Before someone mentioned the Chris Rock special, I was in fear that Id have to go out. When someone brought it up, it was like a life preserver. I clung to it Id never been a bigger fan of Chris Rock than I was that night.

I hate being 36. I feel old and tired And my guess is that things wont get any better when the baby comes.

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