Over the course of the past few years, Ive mentioned a couple of times that Id like you people that are reading this site to buy me gifts. A week or so ago, I suggested that one of you should buy me a t-shirt that Id taken a liking to. (The shirt had an old freakshow banner on it announcing an appearance by the Monkeyboy.) I hadnt had occasion to mention it here yet, but a few of you actually wrote in, asking my size and offering to get it for me. I, in turn, said, Thanks, but no thanks. Generally speaking, thats what I do every time I get a response from someone after begging to have something sent to me for free.
You see, Im not good at accepting gifts.
As with lots of things in my life, its difficult to explain. I really like the idea of asking those of you who read this site to buy me things, but, when push comes to shove, I dont have what it takes to graciously accept your generosity. I guess those two parts of my psyche are at odds with one another.
I have the same kind of relationship with attention. I seem to demand it online, but, in real life, I run from it like its got Rosie ODonnells head. I absolutely hate it.
So, why am I mentioning this now? Well, a little while ago a reader in the northeast, after hearing about the impending birth of our baby, sent Linette and me a check for $100, which, as much as we would have liked to, we just couldnt accept. And now, a few other people have begun asking where Linette and I have registered… Well, while your thoughts are genuinely appreciated, I just feel creepy about taking stuff from people I dont know (no matter how much I might say things to the contrary on this site) So, with that in mind, I have a suggestion to make. If weve never met, and if you were thinking of sending a baby gift, please instead make a contribution to John Kerrys presidential campaign.
After all, the best gift you can give a newborn, in my opinion, is a future without Bush.
Yes, it has been suggested recently by many people that John Kerry is a douchcebag, and that very well may be true, but, in my opinion, to have a president that is merely a douchebag would be refreshing… So, please, if you were planning to give us some kind of baby gift, consider a contribution to Kerry instead. I mean it.
note: All the stuff I mentioned above, about how I dont like taking charity and all the rest of it, doesnt mean that I wont try my hardest to sell you the next magazine we publish, clothing item we design, or record that we release. I have no problem at all with accepting your money for things that Ive created. I just dont like taking money for nothing That makes me feel dirty.
