jesus must have had help

Heres a great little story about a man in Maine who decided to follow in Jesus footsteps by attempting self-crucifixion. The articles probably fake, but I dont have the time or interest to check it out. Plus, I kind of like the idea that theres someone out there whos so intent on being the best damned Jesus impersonator ever. Self-crucifixion is sooo much harder than just getting fat, growing sideburns and putting on a rhinestone-studded cape. It takes real dedication Heres a quote from the aricle:

Lt. Pierre Boucher said the man took two pieces of wood, nailed them together in the form of a cross and placed them on the floor. He attached a suicide sign to the wood and then proceeded to nail one of his hands to the makeshift cross using a 14-penny nail and a hammer.

“When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911,” Boucher said.

It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.

If you think about it, its got to be incredibly difficult. First youd have to stand the cross up (and its probably pretty heavy). Then, I guess, youd have to kind of stand on a chair or a milk crate and nail your feet into place, which would be incredibly uncomfortable due to the fact that youd have to be up on your tippy-toes. And then theres that whole thing about the second hand You know, you really have to hand it to Jesus. How in the world, I wonder, did he pull it off?

I guess well never know.

I met a guy once who said that he could blow himself, but thats as close as Ive ever come to this kind of ambitious maneuver in my own life.

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