OK, I couldn’t go to sleep without first doing some research on the subject addressed in my earlier post. The more I dig, the more freaky shit I’m finding out about natural childbirth and just how fucking far some people are willing to take things. Here’s a quote that I just came across. And this isn’t a joke.

Don’t cut the umbilical cord unless you are the pushy, know-it-all type of parent who is going to make all the decisions for your child. The natural thing to do is to leave it on and let your child decide when SHE wants to get rid of it. After all, it is HER cord, isn’t it? If you can’t resist the temptation to cut the cord, do it with a fish head (bluefish have the sharpest teeth). Put your fingers in the upper and lower jaws and chomp on the cord until it breaksusually two or three bites.

I’m wondering what the fuck the people in the hospital would say if, right after Linette gives birth, I were to whip out a barracuda head and start using it to gnaw through the cord… Of course, I wouldn’t want to be one of those “pushy” kinds of parents that presumes to know what’s best for my child. I think maybe we’ll just leave it up to the baby to decide what to do about the placenta, and, for that matter, where it wants to live. I’ll just drive up in front and honk and we’ll let it decide whether it wants to come with us or not.

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