OK, I just sent in this weeks comic for the Ann Arbor Paper, and now I am free to commence blogging
All I need to do now is slip into my tattered, old Blogging Leotard
…Jeez, I dont remember it being quite so snug.
Damn. Its. Arggghhhh!!!!
There!
Whew.
For those of you who are curious to know such things, I gained a whopping 57 pounds over the past four days. I havent yet fully assessed myself in a mirror, but I distinctly feel what can best be described as fleshy wings growing off of my back. Right now, as I type this, I have them draped forward, over my shoulders. Im thinking that tomorrow, when I put my suit on and get ready for work, I might tape them forward like this, thus giving the impression that I have broad shoulders instead of back breasts.
As for the comic I just submitted to the Ann Arbor Paper, I dont know if theyll print it or not. The last frame shows me on the toilet, on Thanksgiving evening. My swollen belly is resting on my knees and my legs are a blackish-purple color. (I sat on the toilet so long, I lost feeling in my legs and they began to rot.)
This may be too much of a leap for some of you, but speaking of sitting on the toilet so long that your blood pools in your legs, did I ever mention here that I once, when I was working in a hotel outside of Cincinnati, was asked to try to resuscitate a World War II vet that had died on the toilet? To this date, it remains the only time that I have ever handled a dead human being. All kidding aside, it was a life-changing experience. After having spent time with this gentleman, I can tell you with some confidence that there has to be something after we pass from this life. When you look at a person who has died, it is painfully obvious that these bodies of ours are nothing more than large, swollen suitcases of meat that contain our souls.
When I sat down to type, it didnt occur to me to share that. Sorry for going all Touched by an Angel on you.
OK, let me make some tea and Ill be back with you.
The tea is for my throat. I think I might be coming down with a bit of a cold.
