I havent mentioned it here yet, but its been over a year now that Ive been doing this blog. I think I read somewhere not too long ago that fewer than 40% of us continue to keep our blogs for even half that time. A vast majority drop by the wayside. You might be asking yourself, Is it that they arent smart enough, talented enough, dedicated enough? No. Thats probably not it. More likely, the folks who jump ship just realize, This is just fucking stupid. I could actually be doing things and living my life instead of sitting hunched over a keyboard for an additional couple of hours every night.
The rest of us, the 40% that keep at it for six months or longer, either dont have other options (i.e. no friends, no cable, agoraphobic) or feel as though we need to document our lives in order to give them meaning. Seeing as how I have cable, Tivo, a wonderful wife, a career, and even a friend or two, I guess I fit into the latter group, those deluded into thinking that what they have to say matters, or, worse yet, that what they do is of interest to others. Sadly, my whole life has been about documentation. The blog is just the newest enabling device. Before this, it was photographs, videos, audiotapes and photocopies. I keep multiple copies of everything. As best as I can figure it, Im afraid of losing my memory, of not having evidence as to what transpired during my life. Or, I dont trust my memories. Watch the film Memento. Its kind of like that only with filing cabinets instead of tattoos.
Sorry for that tangent. I was just sitting here thinking about something that my friend Laura said to me a few days ago, at the bowling alley bar. She said, Why would you do something that didnt pay you? She, I guess, doesnt see the sense in the blog. When I think about it rationally, I dont either. When I think about it rationally, I think, I could have written a book in this amount of time. I could have created a work of art. I could have something to show for it. Instead, I have these archives. This is my contribution to mankind.
I will say this though, this blog has brought me a number of new friends that I wouldnt have found otherwise. For that, Im very thankful.
OK, Ive said enough. Im tired now, so Im going up to bed. Maybe Ill be back tomorrow. Maybe I wont.
I will be back tomorrow. I like it here. I’m just a bit depressed tonight. Linette went off with her friends and left me here to eat ice cream and soy beans and watch episodes of Columbo by myself. It must just be all the murder that’s getting to me… And if the two murders I just watched of Columbo weren’t enough, I saw “Kill Bill” this afternoon. (For what it’s worth, I liked the film. I didn’t love it, but I enjoyed watching it. It was really good for what it was and I’m looking forward to the next installment.)
OK, I’m going to go have bloody nightmares now.
2 Comments
I shudder to think of the leotard’s condition today. I pray you have replaced it with a new one, hopefully I be covered in sequins and with a high collar built into it.
Though I do be covered in sequins, I was trying to say “hopefully one covered in sequins and with a high collar built into it.”
Do you have autocorrect in 2003?
No? You lucky bastards.