office humor

Im not a big fan of office humor, generally speaking, but every once in a while something comes through my in-box at work that puts a smile on my face. This was one of those things. If you dont care for it, dont worry. I promise not to get into the habit of just reprinting things here that are making their way from cubicle to cubicle across the heartland of America.

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding …..

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Older Woman: Lost it … 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see … can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and call for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Senior Officer: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Senior Officer: Yes … could you please open the trunk of your car.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Senior Officer: Is this your car, ma’am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver’s license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Senior Officer: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Now for something even funnier Someone is coming out with an Ann Couture doll in time for the holidays. I cant imagine a better way to celebrate the birth of the little baby Jesus than by giving my loved ones little plastic idols of Americas favorite high-heeled Republican harpy.

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