its the big one, lizbith

According to a spokesperson for the Palestinian Authority, Arafat suffered a mild heart attack yesterday Is it just me, or is Arafat looking more and more like Fred Sanford every day? Maybe its the big bags under his eyes, or his shut up, Lamont, Im the boss around here attitude. Or, maybe its just that they both live in houses that look as though theyve been half demolished by the Israeli army. Ive never seen the inside of Arafats house, but Im picturing it like the set of Sanford and Son, an old couch right in the middle, the door to the left, the kitchen to the right, a staircase in the back that runs up to the bedrooms.

Arafat doesnt sell junk, does he? Can someone please look into this for me?

Do da do do do da do da do da do do da do da do da do da do da do. Thats the best fucking theme song of all times.

How fucking great would it be if Arafat started driving around in an old red truck?

I think Americans might grow to like him if he did something like that. We like celebrities, and things that remind us of celebrities.

Have you heard all the talk about Dennis Miller and Rob Reiner considering elected office now, in the wake of the Schwarzenegger nonsense? (I actually think that Rob Reiner might be up to it.)

My theory is that everyone wants to be on TV. Arnold was elected because people want to further erode the wall between entertainment and reality. California is a state full of idiots who think that they can pull themselves into Hollywood on the back of a fictional character, a poorly aging robot from the future who is growing man tits and a sagging belly. Its pathetic. Our country should be laughed at or feared.

Back to Arafat. If I were his marketing guy, Id suggest that he start incorporating more Redd Foxx into his routine. Instead of just ambling out of into the yard of his compound to blow kisses and hold up babies, why not drive around the compound with Grady, holding his heart and yelling about this being the big one? His approval ratings would skyrocket.

Im tired and Im going to bed now. The magazine is done. Soon I will be back to blogging full-time. Just give me a day or two to get my strength back up.

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