retraction

    Apparently, I got a hold of some bad information. Tonight was not so much for the smooch, smooch.

    Sometimes I read my signals backwards. It’s the dyslexia.

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    sorry

    some nights, they are for the blogging
    other nights, they are for the smooch, smooch
    this is one of those nights
    you’re on your own

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      for christ

      Remember a few days ago how I was asking for people to send in any examples of organizations that tag on the suffix for Christ after their name? Well, I just got a note from a reader by the name of Steven Cherry. He wanted to suggest a few Christian bondage domination and sado masochism groups. Here are three to choose from:

      daddy
      son
      ghost

      I visited each of these briefly, looking for photos of Jesus with a ball-gag in his mouth, but didnt find much of anything of interest. I also didnt see that any of the groups had names that ended in for Christ. Unlike Clowning for Christ and Models for Christ none of these groups came right out and said submissives for Christ, ball gagged for Christ, or whatever. So, I will not be including them on the officail “For Christ” list. Sorry, Steven, as much as Id like to, I cant bend the rules. (I answer to a higher power.)

      I do have some good news though. I did find two more for the list: Prisoners for Christ and Coon Hunters for Christ. (I suspect that their membership lists might overlap just a bit.)

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      the shit is fast approaching the fan

      The Washington Post reports today that the justice department is calling for an official inquiry into the circumstances surrounding the fact that several DC-area journalists were contacted by White House insiders some months ago with classified information about the wife of former U.S. ambassador Joe Willson. According to the stories circulating around Washington, up to eight different journalists were contacted by the White House with the information that Joe Willsons wife was a CIA operative. This leak, which endangered the lives of Joe Willsons wife, as well as her contacts abroad, was made shortly after Willson disclosed to the press that the Bush administration was well aware of the fact that the Iraqis had not tried to acquire yellowcake uranium from Africa, a claim that Bush had used on several occasions to build support for the war.

      So, what were left with is the mighty strong impression that someone in the White House violated several laws by disclosing that Willsons wife was a CIA operative, and that they did so for the sole reason of retaliating against Willson. So, the justice department has apparently found enough in the way of corroborating evidence to call for an official inquiry into who did what and when.

      According to the Washington Post, a senior official in the White House is confirming that these things did in fact take place. And some speculation says it could go all the way up to Karl Rove.

      Lest you not think that this is a big deal, heres a political science professor from the University of Chicago that may jump political parties because of it. Heres a quote:

      Let me make this as plain as possible — I was an unpaid advisor for the Bush-Cheney 2000 campaign, and I know and respect some high-ranking people in the administration. And none of that changes the following: if George W. Bush knew about or condoned this kind of White House activity, I wouldn’t just vote against him in 2004 — I’d want to see him impeached. Straight away.

      My hope is that the American press grows some balls and follows up on the this story as aggressively as they did our former Presidents unfortunate ejaculation onto his intern As you may recall, a few months ago people in the press began asking questions about Bushs case for war. Do you remember the debate concerning the 16 words in Bushs State of the Union address? Well, the attention span of the American people didnt sustain it. The press moved on to the killing of Saddams sons, and we let them do it. My hope is that were not so easily distracted this time.

      Hopefully, the finding of old Bone Cheek in the Potomac wont bump this story off the front page.

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      bone cheek

      “I knew something must have gone horribly wrong when Bone Cheek didn’t return to camp that night.”

      Mr. Smallwood just sent me this photo. Apparently a body was found close to where he lives, a body with an unusually large cheek bone. Heres Davids note to us:

      My girlfriend and I were walking along the Potomac river yesterday looking at all the styrofoam, plastic bottles and driftwood that was left like a dirty bathtub ring when the flood waters receded a few days ago. Roosevelt Island was closed due to flooding, but the Natl Park Service, who administers the area, had posted a flyer near the bridge leading to it. From a distance, it looked like one of those wanted posters or one of those warnings the cops put out warning joggers about a rapist or something. However, when we approached and read the sign, heres what it said:

      UNIDENTIFIED BODY

      On Thursday, January 16, 2003, the United States Park Police recovered skeletal remains under the inbound span of the Theodore Roosevelt Bridge (US Route 50), in Arlington County.

      The remains were identified as:

      An adult male (in the mid-30s)

      Between 57 and 58 in height

      The skull had a large bone growing out of the left jaw. This would have given the person the appearance of a swollen left cheek. The bone growth would have made it difficult to eat, or even to talk. Criminal Investigations Branch are seeking to identify the body. If you have any information, please contact the Park Police at 202-619-7300 or the Tip-Line 202-619-8737.

      Ive attached the picture I took of the poster. Sorry to say I dont recognize the guy, but I couldnt stop thinking about that bone growing out of his left jaw. I wonder if it hurt. I wonder if he got teased about it as a kid, or if it was a recent thing. I keep sticking my tongue into my cheek to figure out what I would look like if I had a bone growing out of my jaw.

      My first thought was, What would a poster about my remains say? I know theyd mention the fact that the top of my head comes to a sharp ridge, like on the top of a firemans helmet. Theyd probably mention my ass too, unless it had all rotted away by that point. I think that my bones would rot sooner than my ass though. My ass, I think, is probably like nuclear waste. I think itll still be here long after were all gone.

      Let’s all take a moment to consider our corpses, shall we?

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