dave miller sells magic lamp that makes him attractive to women

A few days ago, my friend Dave put a lighting fixture up for sale on Ebay. Heres a photo of Dave holding the lighting fixture in question.

Dave, a freelance, nomadic programmer, decided not to use that photo of himself though. He thought that he might get bigger bids if he were instead to remove his own head and graft on that of Brad Pitt. This is the image that he ended up posting to Ebay.

Now, hes being deluged with letters from horny housewives. Heres a clip from one letter that hes forwarded to me.

I am not a crazy women I am happily married and a mother of three. Sorry to bother you again I just still can not get over how much you look like Brad.

If Dave wanted, he could have an in-box full of phone numbers and scans of dirty Polaroids… Humans are, Im afraid to say, a pathetically gullible, lonely and sad species.

As for Dave, hes always looking for work… so, if youd like to know what George Clooneys head would look like resting on top of your neck, just let me know and I’ll put you in touch with him. Hes not cheap, but hes very good… I was thinking about hiring him to put Gene Wilders head on my body, selling a box of antique doorknobs. Ive always wondered what that would look like.

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