an ypsilanti deepthroat

I need to clean up a bit. Were expecting a reporter from the Detroit Free Press to stop by in a few minutes. He and I were exchanging emails when I was in Brooklyn. Hes doing a story on the Ypsilanti Renaissance. I dont know if those were his words exactly, but that was the gist of it. He wants to talk about the bands, record labels, stores, artists, and all the other things that seem to be coalescing around Ypsi these days. I guess he heard about Crimewave from someone while doing his research. I told him that Id be willing to speak with him, but only if he didnt use my name or mention MM.com. (While Im slowly coming to terms with the fact that my non-work life will one day be exposed to my co-workers, Im not quite there yet.) He was cool about my request. He talked with his editor and said that they could treat me like Deepthroat or something… Ill let you know how this “Deepthroat treatment” goes.

(Speaking of being mentioned in the press, I was also recently mentioned in “TV Guide.” My friend Chelsea got a short piece on the TV show “Monk” published in last week’s issue. She wrote to me and told me that I was referred to in the article, “kind of”… She went on to explain that, at some point in the article, after she says that she loves the way the title character’s OCD is treated, she mentions that she has friends that have some reservations. According to Chelsea, that “friends” refers to me and one other person… So, I guess I’m kind of famous now.)

Since Linette and I already had other plans this evening, we did what we could to work the reporter in to our schedule… Linette and I are going to our Canadian friends Canadian Independence Day celebration this evening. (I think the holiday was actually yesterday, but she chose to celebrate today. She’s apparently one of those rebellious Canadians my parents always warned me about.) Anyway, Linette called Robin (the “I’ll celebrate my holiday whenever I please” Canadian) and told her that wed like to bring a salad… and a reporter. Robin was OK with it… Ive never taken a reporter to a party before. I feel like Puff Daddy, or the Hilton sisters.

Speaking of the Hilton sisters, you all have to promise that if I tell you something, you can keep it quiet. Do you promise?

Well, when I was in New York, I made love to the Hilton sisters.

Actually, thats not really what I wanted to tell you. (I didnt really make love to them. Sadly, I did not make love to even one Hilton sister.) I wanted to tell you this. This afternoon, while riding up to my office in the elevator, I had a brainstorm. Linette and I, this Halloween, could be the Hilton sisters! Please dont tell anyone. I want for it to be a surprise, and I dont want for anyone to copy us If you can keep your mouth shut, I promise that Ill have photos here once weve done it.

Note: In years past, Ive suggested to Linette that we go as Woody Allen and Sun Yee, his young (and misspelled) wife. She never liked the idea though I have a feeling that shell really like the Hilton sisters idea though. It could be really cool. I just need to start losing weight.

“100 pounds by October 31!” That’s my new mantra. What is that, three pounds a day? I can do that.

OK, I need to go and clean up the house a bit now. The reporter should be here any minute. Wish me luck with my Deepthroat.

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