Well, Linette and I just got back from our walk. It was wonderful outside. The sun was out and the birds were happily chirping away. We even saw one excitedly picking at a recently unearthed condom in an alleyway. The snow was melting and revealing little treasures everywhere. Rivers of water were gushing from the formerly frozen hillsides. Kids were out in t-shirts. Yes, it feels like spring is finally here. Im tempted to say that it was even a little hot outside… As Im sitting here typing this, I realize that Im quite parched from having taken such a long walk in this unbearable April heat. You know what a tall, cold Mecca Cola sure would hit the spot right now.
Dont tell me that you havent heard of Mecca Cola? Where have you been these past few weeks, in one of Saddams subterranean bunkers? Everyone knows about Mecca Cola.
The theme, No more drinking stupid, is on everyones moistened, smiling lips. Its the international, Wheres the beef?
Hoping to capitalize on this, Ive got a few ideas of my own as to other products that could tap into the exciting anti-American groundswell thats pulsating through the street. How about Jihadorade? (Its great after a grueling terrorist mission.) Or, how about a red-haired, grey-bearded Ronald bin Laden hawking quarter-pound falafels?
Actually, these things are probably on the not too distant horizon? Have you followed the news about the widespread McDonalds vandalism or the anti-Coke protests? People around the world are seeing each McDonalds as a mini-American Embassy. And every bottle of Coke is a tiny little vial of corporate American poison.
I might be alone in this, but I dont think this is necessarily a bad thing. While hearing people chant anti-American slogans on TV bothers me, seeing them spray-paint swastikas on the arms of giant Ronald McDonald statues doesnt bother me a bit. Americanism and ubiquitous corporate brands are not one in the same. They may appear to be from an outsiders perspective, but I certainly dont identify with the golden arches, the Nike swoosh, or the Marlboro man.
Somewhere beneath all of these corporations, there’s still an America. We just need to start digging.
