Well, I was right. I posted that photo of Linette and asked for people to come forward and let me know what they could about her past, and someone has. I thought that I was strong enough to accept almost anything… Until I opened this letter by John Moltz that suggested something just horrible. Granted, he just said it based upon her appearance; he didn’t have any first-hand knowledge. Still, I’m not sure I’m confortable living under the same roof with her now.
I hate to tell you, man, but your wife…
Well, based on that picture, I’m pretty sure… well.. she… she… brachiates.
I’m sorry. Really. I just didn’t think you should hear it on the street.
rosemarie stops them in their tracks
I also just received a letter from a fellow by the name fo Dan Gillotte. He wanted to let me know that a person who recently applied for the position of “bulk herb buyer” at the co-op where he works, suggested that “rosemary, in addition to being a tasty culinary herb could also be planted outside homes to protect against thieves.”
Of course, my first inclination was to suggest that the applicant had meant to say that Rose Marie, from the old Dick VanDyke show, when placed in a person’s front yard, would scare off thieves.
(I don’t have the technology here to do a poll of my readers, but I’d like to know how you feel about jokes that require you know a thing or two about secondary characters from 1950’s and 60’s television. Are references to the likes of Rose Marie, Maurice Gosfield or William Hopper acceptable in these modern times of ours? Is there a comedy date line that I shouldn’t cross? How about the generation of Richard Kline?)
OK, I have to pay bills now… Speaking of which, thanks to everyone who has ordered issues and subscriptions at the Crimewave shop. Every little bit helps.
Goodnight… at least for a while. (If I can sneak back later, I will.)
