praise us damnit!

Well, the praise is beginning to roll in from around the earth. People everywhere love the new CrimewaveUSA site and theyre taking time to put pen to paper and let us know. Heres just one sample letter. We just received it this morning from a little girl in the New York City named Natalie:

the new site looks great! thanks for making the old material available. you’ll pick up more readers when they find you via their searches (for instance “japanese clown rapists”, “true stories dead elvis” “jeff kay expose” “geraldo fans + caveman top”).

the advertiser section really speaks to me. the allure of instant credibility is powerful, and 10,000 is a good-looking number. Maybe conservative though. 75,000 has the sharp angles and that buxom curve.


I like thinking of the number five as buxom. That makes me happy.

Speaking of weird search terms, I just checked for this site, and weve got some good ones Over the course of the past two weeks, weve had people show up here on the doorstep after typing things like this into Google:

saddam ufo
harry chandler mangina
how to make your own cereal
pageants with Jean Benet Ramsey
wife brain on Ritalin
OJ Simpson Holiday Ham Ad
shaving balls

Alas, this is my contribution to the intellectual discourse taking place on this planet.

I should just end it now.

If I do, I want you to promise me that the above words will appear on my tombstone. “Here lies Mark Maynard. He will be remembered for ball shaving…”

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