me and my old lady

Linette and I are celebrating her 32nd birthday today. Her birthday is tomorrow, but were going to be visiting relatives tomorrow. Tonight, Im making dinner for her, a few things out of a Martha Stewart magazine that I found lying in the kitchen.

Right now, Im sitting on the couch, trying to motivate myself to get up and start cooking.

Before I leave you, I want to mention a few things.

First, a former AP and New York Daily News reporter raised $10,000 in on-line donations so that he could travel to Iraq and blog about the war. I love that. And, I think it opens up huge possibilities. I like the idea that people could get together to, over the internet, and pay someones salary. Id like to think that I could raise at least $30,000 a year by blogging. Wouldnt you pay $100 a year for someone to write about world events, obsessive compulsive disorder, pop culture and ball shaving?

Second, the Washington Monthly this month is running a story on the bigger picture that the neo-conservatives have in mind. I think most of us realize by now that this war with Iraq isnt about weapons of mass destruction or Al Queda, but about remaking the entire Middle East, however it bears repeating.

Third, if you didnt believe the last point, just check out this story from CNN. It looks like Syria might be the next domino to fall.

Fourth, and this embarrasses me, I just spent the last two hours sitting here on the couch, drinking beer, eating melted Mexican Velveeta and chips, and watching the terrible Eddie Murphy and Robert DeNiro buddy cop movie, Showtime. I always hate myself when I waste time.

Fifth, the Village Voice has a great article on our executive branch of government and that fact that its never been stronger, more secretive, or more bold.

An ugly theory popped up in the nation’s capital several weeks ago. The Bush administration would wait until war began, and worry gripped the homeland, to ram a staggering package of domestic security measures through a Congress silenced by fears of seeming unpatriotic. Such measures would radically expand the executive branch powers already inflated by the 2001 USA Patriot Act.

Thats right kids, if you liked the first Patriot Act, youll just love what the Bush Administration has in store for the sequel! Read the article and find out all about it.

Sixth, the New York Press has got its 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers list in its new issue. Heres how it kicks off, with number 50, the model, Naomi Campbell:

The quintessential dont-you-know-who-I-am celebrity has made headlines for her Mansonesque behavior toward bellhops, assistants and other people with real jobs. Its easy to hate models; wed all like to make a living getting fucked in speedboats and staying hooked on other peoples heroin. But a model whos an ungrateful asshole to boot actually deserves the inevitable cruel fate of her lot: an early middle age of sagging tits, Botox, secret Rogaine treatments and fat stockbroker boyfriends with hairy backs.

And that, mind you, is the person who fares the very best on the list Once again, I am reminded of how much I enjoy living in a supermodel-free zone like Ypsilanti, Michigan.

Seventh, the little girl I told you about yesterday, Natalie from New York, wasnt too happy that I reprinted her letter on-line. She had this to say:

you totally distorted what i sent
misrepresenting who i am
for your own personal gain.

i demand . . . a full refund
a free popcorn
a new pair of pants
restitution
a litter of puppies
that you destroy your weapons facilities

Eighth, and you can put this in the Unfucking Believable file, the Bush administration says we should proceed with their proposed tax cuts for the sake of the troops. Thats right, they are telling us, with a straight face, that returning money to the wealthiest Americans will be a patriotic act, an act that will make things better for our troops.

Ninth, proving that its possible to be too much of a scumbag for even the Bush administration, Richard Perle is asked to resign from his post as Chairman of the Defense Policy Board (hes still on board though) once it becomes public that he recently met with a Saudi arms dealer and is currently working on behalf of a Chinese firm to secure the assets of Global Crossing. (We dont usually allow foreign nations to control our communications infrastructure, but for three quarters of a million dollars, he assured them that he could see it accomplished.) Being the charming man that he is, this is what happened when the New York Times called him about the story.

In a brief phone conversation this afternoon before the Pentagon’s announcement, Mr. Perle sounded angry. Asked whether he had resigned, he replied: “Let me just tell you something. If I had, you’d be the last person in the world I’d want to talk to.” He then slammed down the phone.

And these are the men running our country.

Im going to get another beer.

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