good news, great news, phil hendrie

Yesterday, on a whim, I decided to visit the website of my favorite radio broadcaster, Mr. Phil Hendrie. He’s “shit your pants” brilliant. The funniest guy I’ve ever heard in my life. I think I’ve written about him here before. I must have. Being able to hear him every night was one of the high points of living in Los Angeles. Anyway, I checked his site out just to see what he was up to and whether or not any progress had been made with regard to the network TV show he’s said to be developing.

Not thinking there was a chance in hell, I popped over to the “affiliates” page to see if something had changed in the past few months and maybe a station close-by was broadcasting his show. “Holy fucking shit!” As of October, his show’s been re-broadcast over a tiny AM station in Detroit, 1310 AM. I do a Google search and find their site, but there’s no information about the shows being aired or even a schedule. Most of the information available describes the station as “sports radio,” apparently the old format.

I dig out every radio in the house and try to tune in the station. Finally, at 10:30 PM I hear his voice trying to claw its way out from behind the static. I hold the radio to the window, trying to get it to come in just a bit better. I shove the broken end of antenna into my belly button, hoping that I might be able to use myself as an antenna. I try different rooms. I try different radios in the same room. Nothing works. I can just make out his faint voice and that’s all.

This morning, I wake up and go to Radio Shack, where I ask for something to help me pick up AM stations. I’m picturing that there’s some kind of super, AM-only radio… After staring at me for a minute like I was the first person under 65 who had ever asked her that question, the woman there shows me a circular, black piece of plastic with a twenty dollar price tag on it and tells me that it should do the trick. I look at the box and see that it requires a radio with an “antenna in” jack. I tell her that none of my radios have that, to which she responds, “It’s not necessary. You can just sit this next to your radio.” What the hell? I look down at this thing and I notice that it also doesn’t have a plug. Convinced I’m being taken advantage of, I walk up to the counter with it anyway, feeling like I’m buying a handful of magic beans. When I get to the counter, the guy on the other side looks at the antenna and then at me, and then says, “This is for AM radio. I can get you one for FM. We’ve got those too.” After explaining to him that I only care about AM radio, I buy it and head home, where I’m now staring at the antenna, afraid to try it. I just know they’re still laughing their fat asses of about the “guy who paid $20 for the magic AM signal catcher.” (If someone can tell me how this antenna could work without being connected, I’d like to know.)

how about we get women with big boobs and have them carry dead rats in their mouths?
I don’t want to devote too much more time to this, but I just found some more information about the last “Fear Factor” episode on-line. Here’s an interview with one of the proud young ladies who carried dead rats across the studio in her mouth.

FEAR FACTOR: What was it like to put your mouth on that first rat?

KIM GRUBER: My complete thought was just, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I couldn’t hear anybody screaming, it’s just like you blank out and just go and don’t think about it. You know, I didn’t really think about it, honestly, until after I was done. And I’m looking all over the floor and I see all these dead rats laying there.

FEAR FACTOR: You seemed to pick up the pace and focus more. What pushed you into overdrive?

KIM GRUBER: I think I had to get the hang of it first. And then, once I did that, I just kept going. Once I got the hang of throwing the rats into the bucket, I just, I guess, went into a rhythm. And it just kept working for me.

FEAR FACTOR: Afterwards, did you have any fur in your teeth?

KIM GRUBER: Oh, yeah, I was picking fur out of my teeth for a good twenty minutes or so.

To read the entire interview, just focus all of your mental energy here .

Enjoy what’s left of the short time we have left here on earth… This is a hell of a lot worse than dogs and cats lying down together.

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