I’m watching the E network’s thing on the history of the “Gong Show.” Did you know that Chuck Baris would stuff his crotch with meat before bringing animal acts on stage? How brilliant is that? There’s nothing funnier than a dog sniffing a man’s crotch… They’re about to get into the whole thing about his being a government assassin… Speaking of which, I can’t wait to see “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.”

As for the goofy mustache, Linette laughed in my face when she got home. She called me a “leather daddy” and laughed in my face.

We were eating dinner and watching TV when we saw a guy with the same mustache on “Dateline NBC.” He was a child mollester.

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