I’ve heard from a few of you that the site was down again today, for quite a while apparently. I’m sorry about that. I know it must really suck when you want to read about hybrid cars, poop-touching, Whitney Houston, cocks splashing into toilet water and Columbo and can’t. Life sometimes isn’t fair. Get used to it.
Speaking of all of those stupid topics, I just read through the posts I’ve left over the past two days and I’m really not sure what I should, or can, say about them. They are crude and immature and apologize for that. I feel just terrible. If Al Gore had seen this coming, he would have taken all of that talent of his and invented something else.
this just in from our webstats program
Top 2 of 2 Total Search Strings
# Hits Search String
1 1 50.00% markmaynard.com
2 1 50.00% my incest photo
OK, if I’m reading this right, it means that two people found MarkMaynard.com by using a search engine last month. One of them typed in “markmaynard.com,” which doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense, and the other one typed in “my incest photo.” I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around that one.
First of all, this person wasn’t searching for an “incest photo,” or even “incest photos.” He or she was searching for “MY incest photo.” OK, maybe I get that. Maybe there are men and women, boys and girls, out there who post pictures from their incest adventures. Maybe, when you do a Google search for “my incest photos” you get just thousands and thousands of hits. Since I’ve never used that term here once though, I’m thinking that I’ve got to be pretty low down on that list.
Hold on a second while I check something…
OK, I just did a quick search on Google and I didn’t find one thing. Is that possible? I was thinking that there would be thousands. Maybe they block out bad and illegal things on Google. Incest is illegal, right?
I feel like there’s a mystery here to be solved, but I don’t have the time or the energy. Maybe someone somewhere was sending me this cry for help
my record, picked from the garbage and reviewed
OK, as if I didn’t feel bad enough, I just got a note from someone directing me to a website where I found the following review of one of my records.
I like the “terrible yet awesome” part, but it really pisses me off to know that 1) someone was getting rid of the record and 2) that they let it go for 7 1/2 cents… That’s not the best thing in the world for one’s self-esteem. I like to picture people around the world framing my records and hanging them on their walls, not just stuffing them into bargain bins at flee markets.
I like to imagine that they’re considered international currency, like gold.
What does the guy mean when he says, Go there? Where does he want people to go?
It is kind of cool that this guy apparently bought 67 singles and ours was the only one reviewed. If nothing else, that makes me feel a little better about myself.
the shroud of pigskin
I was, for a while, a little bit obsessed by the idea of what our government might have done with the remains of the September 11 hijackers, had they been found. I started thinking about it when, shortly after the incidents of 9.11.01, Mohamed Atta’s will was found in a misrouted bag that hadn’t made the flight. I can’t remember all of the details, but in it he asked that he be buried somewhere that faced Mecca and he asked that women not be allowed to approach his grave. That made me wonder what we, the United States, would do if we found his remains. I would think that we certainly wouldn’t honor his requests, but I was wondering how far we would go to insure that his requests weren’t honored. I had images of his body being buried on the grounds of an all-female college named after Hillary Clinton, somewhere on the opposite side of the planet from Mecca. I had other thoughts too, but that’s where they started. It occurred to me to look into what had happened to his body but I never pursued it.
So, yesterday, I see the following quote, not about our September 11 terrorists, but those recently gassed and executed in a Russian theater.
According to the Moskovski Komsomol newspaper, Russian security forces have decided to bury the terrorists from last’s week’s hostage siege wrapped in pig’s skin,” Arutz Sheva reports. “The aim is to deter potential Islamic terrorists from future attacks. Shahidi (Jihad martyrs) believe by their nefarious acts that they ascend immediately to heaven. Using their beliefs against them, wrapping their corpses in ‘unclean’ pigskin prevents them from entering heaven for eternity.
I can’t vouch for the veracity of that story. I got it from a Wall Street Journal newsletter. Even if it’s not true though, it’s worth considering.
If you know where Mohamed Atta’s body is, drop me a line. I’d like to know.
operation whitney-lover
Encouraged by the overwhelming response that my idea got yesterday, I’ve decided to move ahead with what I’m calling “Operation Whitney-lover.” If all goes according to plan, by the time tulips start pushing their way up this spring, I will have everyone in my office absolutely convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I love Whitney Houston. Stay tuned for details.
good stuff on the web
Here’s some really cool stuff that I came across on the web today.
The first is from my friend Jeff Kay’s site. It involves his friend Chris, who lives in Boone, North Carolina, and the homeowners’ association there. Apparently, there are some issues they’re working to resolve.
Here’s just a taste. This is the beginning of the first letter from the homeowners association to Chris. It’s about something in his yard, a statue, that they want him to remove.
We are writing to you as members of the Evergreen Homeowner’s Association about a concern that has occupied all our minds since you moved into this neighborhood. We are a congregate group of good Christian and God fearing people. The display you have set up on the outer section of your lot has us a bit concerned as the statue appears to be a type of Pagan worshipping symbol, unlike the other lawn decorations in our neighborhood. Shirley Whitley, a neighbor of yours says that this is a Satanic being and that you may be involved in the Occult.
For the full story, click here.
Also cool are these two stories I lifted from boingboing.
The first is about a superhero in New York city, a woman dressed in a red cape and cowl that keeps other women from falling prey to no good, lust-filled men.
To find out about Terrifica (that’s her name), just click here.
This next link is just cool. It’s a series of annual photographs taken by a family over the course of the past 26 years. You can just scroll down and watch the old ones fall apart and the young ones get bigger and stronger. It’s kind of neat. I hope they keep doing it forever.
If you want to see them, just click here.
OK, that’s it for tonight. I have a terrible headache. I was going to mention that at the beginning, but then I thought you’d spend all of your time worrying about me rather than enjoying the scraps that I’ve gathered here for you. Anyway, I have a headache and I want to watch ‘Survivor’ and go to bed. Linette and I are going to be going to our friend Monica’s art show tomorrow, so hopefully we’ll have pictures up this weekend. We also have our friend Jennifer staying with us for a few days, so maybe she’ll come on here and say hello.
Good night.
