The Washington Post article just mentioned us. The author of the piece had apparently read a mention of “Crimewave” in the new issue of the underground press review magazine “Zine Guide.” I haven’t seen the review in “Zine Guide” yet, but I guess we stood out. Actually, lots of zines are mentioned in the Post article, probably about twenty of them. We were just one of the twenty. If I get motivated, I might send the guy who wrote it, Peter Carlson, a copy of our most recent issue.

Speaking of issues, I finally made the call to our printer and asked whether or not he would give us shit because the cover of our new issue (CW #14) has the word “FUCK” on it. I’d been expecting for the guy to talk to me about the Lord (this was, after all, the printer that made us put a black dot over the drawing of a woman’s nipple in a very un-sexy cartoon about performance art), but he was OK with it. He said he appreciated my asking, but that it wouldn’t be a problem. I, of course, did my best to blame SubPop.”

“Yeah, it was shocking to us when we saw the ad. They didn’t tell us when we sold them the space that they would be using profanity. The ad is for a comedy recording, by an actor who was in the movie ‘Men In Black.’ And it’s got the F-word right there in the title.”

So, now we just have to scrape together a few thousand dollars and send it off to be printed. If you have a subscription, you should see your issue in about a month or so.

Oh, one more thing. When talking with the printer about censorship he told me that he’d only refused a few jobs. Some were because of, what he categorized as, “pornography.” I guess that would include the drawing of an exposed nipple in cartoon about performance art. And some were refused because they were “anti racial.” My guess is that he meant “racist,” but you never know. What could he mean by “anti racial”?

I had company for “24.” Our friend Monica dropped by to say “hi” and I explained to her that she could join me, but that I could really only be social during commercials. She was cool with that and we had a good time. At least I did.

I just now saw on the news that Eminem’s old house here in Detroit is set to sell for over $600,000 on Ebay. The news crew interviewed the guy who put it up for auction. He apparently bought it recently from Eminem’s uncle for $45,000. Isn’t $45,000 low to begin with, even if it wasn’t the home Eminem lived in until he was 26?

Bob Dylan’s childhood home sold not too long ago, and so did Madonna’s (also in Michigan). I think that Kurt Cobain’s might have recently sold as well. It would be cool if someone would bring them together, maybe in the shadow of Graceland, and make some big theme park.

old coot takes rejection well

OK, apparently, this elderly woman, an heir to the Eli Lilly fortune, submitted her poetry to “Poetry” magazine back in the 1970s and they rejected her. Now, three decades later, she’s announced that she will be leaving them over $100 million dollars in her will.

That’s what I call a fucking good sport, unless, of course, she’s just playing her last card. Might this just be the last desperate act of a woman obsessed with the idea of having her poem read by the 300 readers of “Poetry” magazine? They’ve kind of got to print them now, don’t you think?

And, if they don’t print them, she could always change her will. She’s still alive.

Somewhere, there are Lilly offspring crying.

Can you imagine that; your mom leaves $100 million to a poetry magazine that rejected her? That’s got to be the biggest “fuck you” of all times.

“Yeah, I loved you kids, but you see there was this crossword puzzle magazine in the 70’s that didn’t accept my idea for a ‘Charlie’s Angels’-themed puzzle.”

In the article, they mention that she was sent nice, handwritten letters of rejection on each occasion. Maybe that explains it.

Here’s the article.

In an unrelated story…

calling all crimewave rejects

Over the course of the past 7 years, I’ve had to reject a number of people who have submitted material to “Crimewave” due to space constraints. It is not a pleasant task and it always pains me to do it. In each and every case, I let the author know, in a lengthy, handwritten note, why it is that we cannot use his or her piece. More often than not, this note from me is stained with my tiny teardrops. If you, or someone you love, ever submitted something to Crimewave that did not get printed, you should have received one of these lovely letters. If you did not, I am sorry. That was an oversight on my part that I will never forgive myself for that. Please know that we love you and respect you as an artist and hope that you will keep that in your mind as you prepare for death.

(And, I should also mention that we did, for a while, have an intern working with us here at Crimewave that sent out several cruel and hurtful letters of rejection. Please accept our apologies if you received one of these letters and be confident in the knowledge that we did not find your article the least bit “assholish” or “shit-written.” In fact, we very much liked what you submitted.)

in related news

There is still no word as to why Ruth Lilly, age 87, recently announced her bequest of $500,000 to the Larry Flynt publication, “Beaver Hunt.”

baby shit bomb

If you remember a few days ago, I mentioned that Linette and I babysat for our friends Dawn and David. What they had neglected to tell us is that, before dropping off little Nicholas they force-fed him apple juice, which, apparently without fail, gives him explosive diarrhea. You can imagine the hilarity that ensued as Linette and I tossed the baby back and forth while it sprayed our walls like a pressure washer that you’d rent from Home Depot.

I just got the following note from my wife.

” Dawn said that she laughed really hard when she got home and opened up the box with the baby wipes and saw poopy fingerprints on the wipes inside .”

I’m glad that we were able to make Dawn laugh.

Good night.