Oh, I should explain something about that picture of me that I posted last night. Those glasses are the ones I had to buy in a hurry the day before leaving the country to cross the Atlantic. That’s the best they could do at LensCrafters. The woman with the big ass and the kindey bean-shaped head who was helping me said that they looked good on me, but she wasn’t even looking at me when she said it.

I really liked the glasses that I broke. Once we pay all of our bills, I might see if I have enough left over to get another pair like them. These, I think, are too oval for my tiny, round head. I didn’t think it possible, but they make it look even tinier and rounder.

I’ve never asked my doctor how the size of my head compares to that of a normal person’s head, but I should make a note to do just that the next time I’m in his office asking about one of my “is this the onset of Lou Gerrigh’s disease” pains. My suspicion is that my head is in the bottom 3% with regard to reasonably well-functioning heads. What I mean by that is if you exclude pin-heads, and take one hundred adults at random off the street, there will be about two people with heads smaller than mine.

Speaking of big heads, did you know that Merv Griffin has a policy to only hire on-air tallent with big heads? It’s true. It’s his belief that people like to watch people with big heads. He’s said before that Pat Sajak and Vana White would not have been hired had they not both had very large heads. I think he’s right about that too. It depresses me, but I think he’s right. No one wants to see a person with a tiny head on TV.

I will leave you on that note to go out and forage for fire wood. It’s getting cold here in Michigan.

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